Monday, January 31, 2011
that girl.... is a gun to my holster.
green green green:)at
3:27 am
Sunday, January 23, 2011
soundcheck: more - usher
it has become a habit to stay up late till the wee hours in the morning and for real, i am beginning to hate it. i don't have a morning life where i can either switch on my tele to watch the morning cartoons, morning music countdown on mtv. :( honestly i am against the fact of staying up late and being nocturnal much sitting at coffee shops drinking teh and smoking and talking whatever whatnots. i hate the fact that i am online right now when i should be sleeping and at least waking up at 10am so i can watch morning cartoons and i don't know... hmm at least have a life?
school is starting this april and i'm psyched up much for it. i have managed to defer my reservist to a later date. it was supposedly to start tentatively on 18-29april and i have a feeling i will only resume reservist after school. i'm gonna be old by then. hopefully i will still have strength and motive to pursue it. no not pursue, more like forced. anyways, i know that is going to be a long one till i end school. let's just hope to get the diploma that i have been waiting for. hopefully after that as well, the journey gets smooth-er than ever. coz i journey had always been a bumpy one for me. i know others might experience worse, but this is my worse be it, life, relationship, family, friends. i have this feelings i lost some. but people fade away, well not really fade away.. hmm to make it simple, people are busy with life and work and that is not healthy coz it doesn't help us connect much with our friends. i know coz i work like shit too and i get nothing but shit as well. times like these i wish i wouldn't had quit my hospital job. :(
i have been disturbed as well instead of going to sleep because honestly, a certain someone has been running through my head and it's starting to bug me again. it's the questions and askings and wonderings and hopings and thinkings all in one. i have always been wanting to know how is she doing with life and how is everything so far and how is her job and all? i know she must be doing so well i mean being someone who has settled down it's pretty much the obvious. well i am still living in the era whereby how she would handle things and i know she is that type of someone who manage to do it, either ways. you know you have this thinking and feeling like you always want to know how is she doing but you don't want to or you prefer not to because apparently things between you both are and were pretty much complicated before and you don't want to complicate it any further. if given a chance and the will and ultimately, THE BALLS to talk to her again or at least a text away, i would have ask her out for a coffee or a walk just to know how she is. but that's never going to happen and i think it stays that way for good. sigh.
looks like i'm pretty caught up much in my nutshell that was never broken. or i'm still standing on the floor even when i try to move forward. hahhaa.
but hey it's 2011 now and yeah, someday it will all fade away and i know she doesn't think much about anything at all. i think she's pretty much contented in life. she had her dream came true. living the dream, just living the dream. well that's the least i could be happy for her. :) damn, i'm typing this away and i could really feel the goosebumps and teary on my eyes as i blog everything here. this really meant something to me and it stays that way too.
i'll leave everyone to a good morning, i'll try to bed in now.
green green green:)at
3:42 am
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
point forms:
i met with an accident.
i'm ok.
my bike is not ok.
i need money
i need to work more.
i need to sleep now. fcuk.
fml.
green green green:)at
12:22 am
Sunday, January 09, 2011
i'm sorry that i mistreated you, prettay lady. :(
green green green:)at
3:09 am
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
i'm thinking of a place to treat my family this coming friday. i've yet to think of a restaurant. :(
green green green:)at
10:31 pm
i'm thinking of a place to treat my family this coming friday. i've yet to think of a restaurant. :(
green green green:)at
10:31 pm
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
i know it's not a good way to start off the year with pondering the stuff that you shouldn't. :(
well happy 2011 everyone! i'm sure most of you people must have got all looking forward to everything good, smooth and well-going. :) apparently nothing seems to be working for me. not that i'm not happy or anything but thinking how i used to spend my new years with a particular someone you love and held throughout.. it's not the same. it's really not.
hahaha.. i was on my way back home just now and something random came up, i know this has got nothing to do with anything or me still living in the past but what if i asked a person whom i used to be with for a coffee? would it be awkward much? i mean there's nothing between us now and yes, the past is the past. nothing could bring it back. besides, nothing can change anything! hahahha! ohh well, i smiled on the highway alone thinking that way.
work has been hectic for the past few days. i mean i'm working there part time but i received alot of shits from guests and superiors. i mean afterall, we're humans too. and yes we deserve something more than what we get now! i mean $6.50/hr is not that bad on days like that, we need something to get the welfare going and so that we all can look forward to work. i know blogging this as well won't help much. argh. i've been bumming at home doing nothing and working the night throughout. i need a life. i need myself to get things going back to how it was, or rather how my day life was. i need to get a day job, less working night, and spend time alone, friends and family. fcuk!
on the other note, i can't wait for school to start. in the meantime, i'm going through a phase of change. i'm getting my bike painted, i'm gonna get alot of new stuff. i need to pamper myself with the earnings. i know it's not much but retail therapy is all good. that's the only way to make myself feel good, for now at least i guess....
green green green:)at
2:03 am
