" Race Against Myself "
(I realise)
All I want
All I need
Always lies just out of reach
I've been coming up empty
(I realise)
I ran as fast as I can run
I pushed as hard as anyone
But still there's nothing for me
(And I want)
I've tried as hard as I can
(And I need)
I've taken all I can stand
(And I fall)
But I am running a race
Against myself
Against myself, yeah
(I realise)
Running out, struggle on
Am I sorrow as my song
My whole world is half parted
(I realise)
For my pain I have none
After all is said and done
Now I'm back where I started
(And I want)
I've gone as far as I can
(And I need)
I've taken all I can stand
(And I fall)
But I am running a race
Against myself
Against myself, yeah
Against myself
green green green:)
at 10:44 am
Monday, December 29, 2003
The Offspring ~ Splinter.
Hoobastank ~ The Reason.
Go get those. they rawk!
ya i'm to tired to blog. maybe i shall blog some other day. good nite singapura.
green green green:)
at 9:58 pm
and so i woke up with a sunlight shinning on me while i was asleep. yeah damn. so i rushed to my comp hoping that the ite website would get me in without my password and login ID. obviously they didnt la. i was such a dumbass. so called ahmad coz he promised to follow along to the institute. so i quickly bathe, got dressed up. reached toa payoh quite early. then we took a bus there to the institute. wow there were lots of people there...
so i explained about my stupidity to the fellar in charge and he asked for my ic number. and he checked and checked.. and VOILA! i got in precision engineering. that's the good news. the bad news. i'm not sure if i'm posted to aerospace. that i have to find out soon. oh ya.. and about joining hockey in ite. how does it goes there. so i have to go there again on the 5th of Jan. i can't wait to start school back. i'm bored to death, here, at home, in this very room. oh ya. i can't wait for the hockey tournament too. i don't bother which team i'm playing for as long as i get in a team and play the best i can. i've been motivated by the singapore hockey team. the way the play and all. yeah they're good. they're good alright. that is how i want to play. but it takes loads of practice and trgs. but i don't mind do i? i hope to be in the squad when i'm 18. if not.. then i'm really disappointed.
whee. monday isn't happening at all but nothing spoilt my day at least. which is good. i know you all out there reading my blog definately would go "hey johan. that's your life man. i'm having a fucking good time here man." well good for yall then. thumbs up. nothing's going to spoil my day today, or tmr, or the whole week, why not the whole of next year? ok.. just crap.
green green green:)
at 5:32 pm
Sunday, December 28, 2003
i am such a dickhead. remember about applying my course via the web? ya i'm supposed to print two pages:
1: the list of courses i took.
2: my password and my userID.
now, i only printed the first page. being me a careless arsehole, didn't know that there was a second page to print. now i don't know my password and my userID. so i can't check what course and which institute i'm posted to. damn scared and pissed off. scared coz if i don't have those important stuff. i might not be ablt to take up my january intake. i'm pissed coz being me always. i'm very careless. such an idiot. now i have to go down to balestier ite to know my results. i hope they'll do something about it. i'm really really really scared. i guess this is the stuff i've been worrying about.
about the bursary. i didn't went down to woodlands cc to collect it coz my father called them telling to take another day. so i'm taking it on the 30th or 31st. i'm not quite sure. i have no mood to write. my mind's blank. all i could think is only about my ite posting. anw, here's what i wrote this morning. at this point of time. i know no one would give a fuck about what's happening to me. and i also realised that it's a waste of time worrying about all these. who knows? i might not get the course.
Gone
It's been long since I last wrote
What could I do, I was in a care free mode
Always wanted to be like this
So why bother being pissed?
Don't let these feelings fade away
Somehow it has got to stay
But it probably end up at the start
In line with my broken heart
I'll sit here all day if I have to
If I happen to think of you,
I'd tell myself it's all over
I know we can never be together
green green green:)
at 11:48 pm
i'm supposed to collect my busary award at woodlands cc. must wear UNIFORM? on sunday? come on. shoots. better be ready soon. i shall blog later abt it. oh ya. Cokelat - Karma. i like that song. adios.
green green green:)
at 12:44 pm
Saturday, December 27, 2003
my comp's finally fixed. wheee~ thanks to ramesh. muahahaha.
green green green:)
at 10:45 pm
Thursday, December 25, 2003
today went so well. ain't that down today. oh well even if i'm sad, who'd give a fuck about me? no one of course. anw. just came back after watching School Of Rocks. and johan treated us for dinner. thanks johan though i'm not really full yet but thanks anw. we owe you one i guess.. hahaha. oh ya.. the bass player.. the bassist.. that girl in that movie. damn she's hot. She Is Hot! yeah hell that movie was a kick ass! i wouldn't mind watching again.
oh well tomorrow we're going to derrick's house for dinner. i wonder what i'm goin to do before that.. so School of Rocks just Rocks. get what i mean? The Strokes album's so nice to listen to. but the sad part.. it's only half an hour long. but you could keep playing over and over again.. that's the fun part.
know what? by now i should've finished the Chris Rock book, Rock This. it's a nice book. i love it. very racist. and it's damn hilarious. oh well being me. i rarely read books. so it'll take quite some time to finish the whole book. anw. thanks for getting that book hanis..
Coldplay's Politik is still on my head.........
green green green:)
at 11:10 pm
the song Politik will stay in my head till it fades. coldplay has alot of nice sentimental rock music. it just makes me keep playing that song over and over again. tomorrow's christmas. anything new for me? nah don't think so. well every day it's like that i guess. except on one day which a miracle happened that i passed my maths. really am proud for myself. well i guess i did try my best for it. and voila. i passed. well i also thanked my friends especially ahmad and hanis.
but something just keeps bothering me these few days. like something else happening. like something bad. something bad going to occur my life. what is it? i'm still having this restless sleep almost every night. been always sleeping late not because i don't want to. because of this strange feeling. damn.. if only i know what is it. i'll feel much more better after all these troubles, sorrows and some other shit are gone, washed away. but no. they're growing in me. and i got to let it go. but how?
yes i do feel happy. but for how long? from what i know. everything's going fine for me i guess. i shouldn't be worrying except for the ite courses which i'm about to get into. that's all. other then that.. it's nothing. school's over. i'm not in love. not having a crush on no one. what is it? what the fuck is it? i have no one else to confide to about all these. i don't think i'm close to my family no more. my friends are all working. most of them are busy. my cousins all are mostly working. some no news about them, wonder what happened. i feel like a guy who's stranded on a street covering himself with a thin blanket. no one's bothered. think anyone's happy that i passed my N levels? no i don't think so. but i juz kept quiet. ahh... hope i'll wake up tomorrow with a fresh me. goodnight singapura. have a merry christmas everyone..
green green green:)
at 12:36 am
so. the whole day today wasn't raining. fuck! should've gone down to any of the beaches. but no... i wasted my time sleeping all they way till 12. how dumb could i get. oh well. obviously it was a nice nice day. oh well. i'm very tired. i don't know why but i'm tired. this whole week no training. how sad. anw.. went out to watch the singapore vs bangladesh match. damn. the banglas were wild. they're so wild. they went jumping up and down like bunch of indian cheerleaders coz the bangladesh scored a goal after the short corner.
oh well. i feel so weak. i don't know why. tomorrow we're going out again to watch Lord Of The Rings. heard it's quite shiok. should catch it. tomorrow's ticket is 8.50.. damn it. oh well. i ain't gonna wake up until someone calls me. i'm gonna sleep like no one exists.
oh ya.. some fuckthup incident happened inside the train just now. got this freaking lady who sat beside me and went BANg on my shoulder. what the fuck? and she gave me that fucking stare. like her face very nice to look at. what did i do? i went and push her fucking shoulder back la.. fuck. who she think she is? some big ass lady. crack ass cracker. the least she could do was just smiled back and said sorry instead of giving her fucking 'scary' look. and after that.. she went coughing infront of me.. fuck. what's wrong with her? got sars? crack ass cracker..
im not angry or anything la. but it was funny. yeah hell it was. i was laughing. she and her fucking big bag. she tries loads of stuff to irritate me. but i just kept laughing. and i guess she got pissed off. coughing at me? freak ridiculous man. she needs to see a doctor...
listening to Coldplay's Politik song. very nice. like you're going ~~~~~. know what? i need a hug..........
green green green:)
at 12:06 am
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
ok so i was wrong about this whole week's so hectic. it's not. it's just booooooring. listening to blink's new album. they're quite nice la. they don't play their normal punk song. more to the lovey dovey song but still nice. i like their track 3. I Miss You. very sentimental. so the album is actually nice. thumbs up.
so today it isn't that sunny maybe abit cloudy. but i do hop the rain would come another month. not this month, not my december. no..
green green green:)
at 12:28 pm
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
new template. ain't that nice but it's green. should find another template to replace this. but for now.. i shall use this first.
green green green:)
at 10:48 pm
Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking in your spiderwebs
So leave a message and I'll call you back.
No Doubt ~ Spiderwebs
green green green:)
at 10:42 am
Monday, December 22, 2003
b-e-a-utiful. everything went smoothly again. whee~ hope something doesn't screw up later.. well woke up at 10+.. nawfel called me to follow him sell his phone at berlington there. so met him at sembawang then took one straight bus there. had our breakfast there. very feeling man. i am still full. the masakkan there is just so feeling. sedap...
so we met his father along the way.. sold his phone.. then he followed me to peninsula coz i wanna get some simple plain jersey.. so we took the bus towards suntec.. bought The Strokes!!!! wheee~ at HMV coz it's on the way to penin. so met ahmad at penin.. bought my plain jersey.. it doesn't really look cool la but it's nice. so we dropped by the car model store which they sell alot of nice nice car models. haha.. as usual ahmad bargain king. so he bought this ery vintage ferrari for like 9 bucks. i bought the small little mini cooper for $8. very nice~.. met benji on our way back.. he looked damn stoned man.. hahahaha.
oh ya.. i saw the barcerlona jersey the gold one. very nice. it costs $75.. wait long long ah johan. the strokes is happening man.. their musique so melodic.. the guitar... wheeeee.. i'm in a care-free mode... anw enjoy reading the lyrics from The Strokes - Automatic Stop
So many fish there in the sea
I wanted you. you wanted me
That's just a phase, it's got to pass
I was a train moving too fast.
Didn't understnad what to see
Yeah, then I got a different view
It's you, no.
Wait. I'm gonna give it a break.
I'm you not friend.
I never was.
I said wait, I'm gonna give it a break.
I'm not your friend
I never was.
So many fish there in the sea
She wanted him, he wanted me
That's just a phase, it's got to pass
I was a train moving too fast
Yeah. I know you warned me
But this is too important
Now I got a different view
It's you...
green green green:)
at 8:01 pm
ok.. i really need someone to help me out here. i really need to get a new template. i don't know how to insert my acrhive in.. freak la.
oh well. i guess it'll be another hectic week for me i guess. tmr planning to get somenew stuff. shoes, cds, jerseys. hmm not sure la.. most probably i will get one of those. today is nice. everything went so smoothly. whee.. watch the hockey match singapore vs iran. power ada! singapore beat them 4-1. cool right? power man they play. counter counter counter. i wish i could play like them la but i could dream on. really wish to play like them.. or at least play something like them. must work on hockey man. i gotta improve. go johan! you can do it! must work on it!
god. the cheese. the cheese. it made hanis and me go nuts. goodness. hanis was telling about the trip to australia and all those shitty stuff.. he was talking about this lady who sat beside him on a tour around there.. and how the lady tried to smile at him.. it was really funny la.. it may not sound funny now but.. don't know la.. the cheese got us into all this.. so we kept teasing about that lady from suntec all the way to the station and back home. hahhaa.. the cheese. must have been the cheese. we went bonkers la. i think people around us especially the lady who was behind us must have said something nice about us. 'Mad Mats'. we seriously went nuts la.. kept laughing none stop.. like in a world of our own..
oh well shan't go any further about that.. really stoned. oh ya.. thanks for the birthday present and the gift if you happened to read this shit. hanis made my day today. that cunning tall bastard. muahaha. can take joke eh? kalau tak, pakai skirt sua.. muahahhhaa.
damn. i really gotta improve my hockey man! this is a must no excuses. intensive.. starting from the next trg. must keep tlling myself to improve improve improve. -and it keeps going on and on..-
green green green:)
at 12:47 am
Saturday, December 20, 2003
gonna have to change to a new template. must get a new one. asap.
green green green:)
at 10:52 pm
wheee.. picture..
yup taken after the results. everyone was happy.. whee.. oh ya.. forgot to thank my cousin for buying the billabong cap for my present. thanks! i remember the first present i got from him was the hotwheels garage playset. cool eh?
anw.. my comp's fixed. only some minor problems. damn it. but it's ok. it's running fine well for the meantime la. my scanners working well to. same goes for the broadband modem.. finally.. i can use the computer till it goes boom! MELETUP! muahahahahahaha.
green green green:)
at 10:20 pm
let's just say i had some misunderstanding between me and my family. shan't go any further abt that matter coz thinking of that shit makes my hockey match today screwed up. damn. danker was right. i need to make my decision fast. and i gotta improve my hockey if i wanna go any further. damn! everything didn't went smoothly today. well yesterday infact.
damn.. played hockey like budak-budak baru pandai main gitu. serious. i mean.. i've played hockey for like 8 years close to 9.. and im playing like a fucking pussy. goodness man. i seriously gotta put more work into hockey if i wanna improve..
this whole week is such a disaster. quarreled with my family, played useless hockey.. i didn't felt like going back home but if i don't where can i stay? how am i supposed to fine food. my money's gone. the only good thing that happened was my results. syukur i passed my maths.. i thought i'd flunk. now it's about time to choose the course. i might be taking up mechatronics. it's qute interesting.. whatever happened to aerospace? hahaha that's my 2nd choice. but i wish i'll get mechatronics or building drafting.. architecture. i'm really shocked that i passed my maths. really gotta thank my friends and my teachers and to whoever that really help me in maths.. ALOT especially ahmad and hanis. thanks!
anyway.. i do wish to improve my hockey.. really sad about it.. so much for looking forward to the premier team. i guess playing in div 3 would be fine for now. under 21 is starting soon. hope i won't screw up any of the matches. and quite a few of the scc members are leaving the club.. hmm wonder why..
green green green:)
at 1:50 am
Thursday, December 18, 2003
so.. had trg just now.. it started out fine.. then this mak saleh nak carik pasal with me.. wonder why.. she's such a biatch. so anw.. the trg was abit fuckthup because the mak saleh wanna find trouble. ok.. here's what happened.. i was dribbling the ball.. chey dribbling eh? okok.. so i bumped into this girl.. not purposely.. it was an accident.. and the mak saleh bitch came up to me and said.. "if you lay your hand on her one more time i'll charge you for outrage modesty" or it went something like that la.. so i told it wasn't on purpose.. and she went ok i was just asking but if you think that was a joke.. think twice. joke? just because everyone was laughing at me that i bumped into this girl.. what fuck?
ok la enough of that i complained to mr malik.. so it should be ok.. outrage modesty? what the fuck was that all about? seriously not trying to bring up something here but most of the scc foreign members think asians are just bunch of fuckthup people.. that's what i think la.. i've been in that club for like 3 years. what the hell man..
anw.. after the match.. was collecting all the balls back. this premier fellar.. that tall fellar.. you all should know whom i'm refering to. that ver nice fellar.. only that mak saleh is very nice and all. so he asked me if i wanna get in the premier team.. foooo~~~~ like a dream come true man~. so i told him that i have to think about it.. i remembered about hanis, deepan johan and benji. must remember them.. should ask danker about this. he knows where i should play for.. ahaha.
well anw.. i'm really shocked.. why me? premier? fooo~ what an improvement i've made. but that fellar who asked me about this.. he's a nice guy. admire his hockey works. he's not hot tempered or anything.. he seems quiet and all.. hmm.. looking forward about this premier thingy man.. but i don't wanna warm the bench. like who does?
ok so tmr.. well today later in the afternoon we're receiving our results. i'm scared but i don't feel scared.. get what i mean? hahaha.. i don't know la.. hmm can i make it or not? more reports till the results are out on 2pm later.. for now.. this is johan signing off.. back to whatever you doing..
green green green:)
at 12:10 am
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
ahh.. how nice to start my wednesday. it's not sunny though it's cloudy but nevermind.. i hope to look forward. my niece is back after a long stay at her nenek's house. so mantel (is that how they spelt it in malay?) that girl.. oh well. good morning singapura~ there's trg today but i'm not sure if deepan and all going.. hmm...
green green green:)
at 11:01 am
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
just realised that i'm such a fickle minded person. i cn't make decision wisely.. strange right? oh well. which is true la. my sister was right. danker was telling me i can't make my decisions correctly.. where to pass and all.. freak! gotta work on how to get rid of it. being a fickle minded is so fuckthup. oh ya.. didnt say thank u to my sis.. she bought for me a new pair of shoes.. from fifth avenue.. cool right?
green green green:)
at 11:29 pm
well well birthday boy it is. quite happy though didnt had any fun coz i'm 16 la.. come one la.. having fun? hahaha.. oh well i bought myself well my mother bought for me the big headphone.. it's all good! got a new track pants. hmm that's about it. hahha whee.. though nothing much happened today but i feel happy.. which is good. usually my birthday have cake ard me.. especially chocolate cakes.. my favourite.. but oh well.. 16 years old finally.
green green green:)
at 10:54 pm
alright johan. don't get too excited. you're already 16 now. please realise that u're a grown up.. so act like one. hahha.. so happy birthday johan.. hope your wishes 'would somehow' come true. hahhaah right~. anw. looking forward to tmr's resting day. -shrugs- so 16 years old it is..
green green green:)
at 12:08 am
Monday, December 15, 2003
i'm supposed to be resting or sleeping or something like that.. but no.. i'm online, playing knockout kings 2000 with my nephew.. and he won all the matches.. i suck in ps games. anw. there's a friendly against the NYPs.. gotta pack my things later.. meet deepan at yio chu kang station.. and know what.. it's a nice freaking weather to be on the beach.. the sun, the sea, the sand and the chicks.. but no.. i'm stuck at home.. going to a friendly match which i guess i won't probably play coz there's too many of us coming..
It's a sunny day
A beautiful day to be by the bay
Enjoying the cool wind
Just like washing away our sins
that was crap la.. just did that for nothing.. oh well. going to pack now.. hope i'll somehow get a place to play.. morning gym trg was horrible.. damn tired.. and hanis dislocated his shoulder.. but it's ok.. he's alright now.. he's leaving for australia tonight.. have a safe journey there....
green green green:)
at 4:03 pm
Saturday, December 13, 2003
here's how my day started:
woke up at 630am.. bathe.. pack my stuff.. off to toa payoh to meet hanis, benji and deepan.. we all came late so it's alright.. anw.. reach src around like 8+.. registered our team.. our first match was at 9+ played against jansenites. lost 3-0.. then we went to have our breakfast at long john's.. we're bunch of budget people... so anw.. the cashier tried to cheat me, benji and hanis.. think we all dump ah?
ate ate ate.. then went back to the src to get ready for our next match against csc.. and guess what? i scored... whee~ so we won 1-0.. then watch all the matches.. the nicest was jansenites and src legends. power man that match! anw.. the next match was against src legends. we played damn solid alright. we managed to hold them for like the first 5min or smtg.. and guess who scored again? me me me.. wheeeeeee~.. but obviously they won the game 3-1.. benji dribbled pass sunil.. big story for him.. first thing come out pitch.. saw not saw not? fool la that fellar.. but like that game.. we all managed to hold them..
so went back to our clubhouse coz it's juz the opposite side.. bathe and all.. then hanis said his hungry.. weird la that fellar.. so we went golden shoe and had our lunch.. benji had to leave half way because of church.. after eating we went to esplanade.. for what.. to check for green day scores... but that was bullshit la.. i was just trying to waste all of your time.. muahahahha! wasted there around like 5-10 min la.. wasted la.. should've spend more time there.. hahaha.. then we went to hmv since it's on the way back to the station.. check out some new bands.. fishtank was one of them.. it's a localband.. and the play ska music.. cool eh? like no doubt.. oh ya.. i'm thinking of buying the strokes. i miss the first song in that album.. the whole album very the melodic..
so deepan and johan went off first.. hanis and i went walking around coz i told him that i still don't feel tired yet.. until we reach far east.. ya walked from somerset to far east.. nice right? oh ya.. we went borders first to check out green day's old album kerplunk.. found it la but quite expensive and don't know want to buy or not.. coz they only listed 3 songs to listen.. but it'll be ok if someone or anyone's buying it for me.. birthday coming.. -muka tak tahu malu ah?- no shame..
oh well then while walking to far east.. we bumped with kandhiban and his lovergirl. oh that fellar ah.. go out with girl can.. go tournament cannot ah.. give stupid excuses.. arse.. so walked with them for awhile then i decided to leqve them alone.. so hanis said his hungry again.. wonderful.. wanted to go cahaya but he was left with $2.. awwww.. takpe ah? home got food right? macdonalds. while you having that, i was having a wonderful dinner.. nasi briyani. sedap~ there's more to type la.. but i'm too lazy.. my fingers tired.. hahahahaha. too bad my comp's not fixed yet. damn it la.
green green green:)
at 11:39 pm
Friday, December 12, 2003
fuck!
my comp couldn't install the modem. fuck this comp. fuck everything. went for trg.. suck in it.. fuck johan. you suck! now don't think i wanna play tmr's tournament.. freak la! why? pissed with the comp, with myself pissed with the rainny season.. trg today was so fun only that i didn't made use of it.. making alot of stupid stupid fucking mistakes!
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the bes of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on the shelf of good health
And good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's a worth
It was worth all the while
I hope you had the time of your life
Green Day ~ Good Riddance
the whole of friday was totally spoilt. screwed la!
can't sleep.. am still hungry but got no mood to eat.. listening to all my green day albums. ahh.. feel like yelling till i got no voice.. really really am pissed off with almost everything especially the computer and me! my hockey has went from bad to worse. i've played hockey since pri 3.. i'm such a big big big disgrace.... and my fucking comp keep losing most of the files inside that system32 thingy... can't sleep.. but must slp.. dammit la!
green green green:)
at 11:50 pm
still listening to rhcp's save the population. love the melodic tune of the guitar..
anw.. so much for rise and shine.. juz came back from mosque.. was quite late luckily manage to catch up.. it'll be a sucky trg later as you all know that it's raining.. hope tmr's tournament won't be raining.. for the first time i do wish it's a sunny day... oh well.. leaving soon for trg.. haven't pack my things yet.. not really looking forward to it.. wish i could just slp all day and forget all about the shitty stuff.. what kind of shitty stuff.. i also don't know..
rain rain go away come again another month.
green green green:)
at 4:04 pm
force vomit rocking the friday morning.. rise and shine singapura~ abit late to type that right? oh well..
Hope it'll not rain today...
green green green:)
at 11:16 am
Thursday, December 11, 2003
'stay all night and save the population'
pissed pissed pissed! a fuckthup thursday. it started out so nicely.. woke up at 10am.. sunny weather and all.. listening to jean danker nice weather to go to the beach.. ya well it was la till i went for my hockey trg at 4.. trained only for like only an hour or more then it started to rain heavily. damn heavy..
so it rained and rained.. we went to adam's road foodcourt.. still raining.. so we eat talk cock sing song.. met danker sat there about close to 8.. and it was still raining.. argh.. best of all.. trg was cancelled! so went back home.. quite pissed.. it should've went nicely if there wasn't any trg and i could be sleeping at home all day long coz it's a cool weather..
trg today was so fuckthup.. couldn't manage to hold the ball longer again. johan, u suck! argh.. and trg was screwed because of the rain.. oh well.. nothing can be done.. oh ya.. on sat.. there's this 4 a side tournament which src has organised. found that i had nothing to do on that day coz going to sentosa thingy was cancelled.. coz most likely it'll rain.. and the 4 a side thingy.. useless.. don't know why i bothered playing.. with my basic skills like.. hahha.. can dream on la.. but we'll see how.. there's trg again tmr.. 'whee'..........
green green green:)
at 10:59 pm
what's up with blogger.com man? been screwing up for the past few week. oh well. sentosa this saturday.. island life, love it? i don't think it's going to happen. everyone's busy here busy there.. hai.. maybe i think it'll rain also coz these few days always raining.. like today.. we had our friendly against swiss cottage in the rain.. SHIOK! but sadly.. i played like SHIT! ya la.. damn irritating kept losing the ball.. couldn't hold it longer.. my stick flew away when i sweep hit so it wasn't a goal.. but they whistled for goal i don't know why.. pissed pissed pissed with myself man.
everything's going upside down.. ahh.. there's trg again tmr.. see if i could still play hockey.. anw.. it was good to play a friendly to get my match fitness back.. that's why most of us.. like me.. played like shit! haha.. lucky us danker didn't shout that much.. nasib nasib~
oh ya.. guess what.. i've finally subscribed to broadband. can't wait till it's fixed.. whee~ internet all day long.. while others will be gone for thailand and australia.. you know who you all are.. lucky fools! derrick, dzul and nawfel going thailand, hanis going australia. ME????? spending my time doing nothing.. celebrating my dullness birthday. how wonderful. turning 16 is nothing afterall i guess..
Beautiful Occupation -Travis
Don't just stand there watching it happening
I can't stand it
Don't feel it
Something telling me
Don't wanna go out this way
But have a nice day then...
green green green:)
at 1:13 am
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
tell you man.. these few weeks had been very very busy and tiring.. had trg today.. well it wasn't that tiring la.. but i don't know kept drifting away.. stone. anw. hanis, johan and i and senthil and tas.. stayed for the womens trg.. quite fun la i'd say.. it was drizzling.. cool rite.. like playing in arsenal stadium.. haha anw.. it rained heavily but we still played.. only the girls.. hahaha.. oh well..
met my cousin with his girl.. talked to him for awhile and all.. oh ya.. guess what? saw this girl on her way home.. wearing her baju kurung.. she's hot man! too bad i didnt really got to see her.. she was walking so fast.. hahahahaha.. don't know whether to go tmr's match.. i think i see first la.. slping at this time.. i won't wake up at 11.. that's for sure.
there's more to blog but my mind is blocked.. don't know why.. anw i wrot something just now..
Having this sleepless night
As if there was something so uptight
Can't pretend everything’s alright
Wish I could know what it is..
Something that I'd like to say to you
But I didn't know what to say, what to do
Wish that you'd shout out my name
But it's too late
Only left with myself to blame
sleeping time now. i feel slpy for the first time after so long..
green green green:)
at 12:55 am
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
you know what? remember poetry.com? ya i guess they published my writings in their thick book. too bad i didn't get to buy.. mother says way too expensive. anw.. there's some british thingy.. something like poetry.com emailed me saying they're interested with my writings don't know which one la.. they're gonna publish it in another thick book! hahahahahaha! i am such a poet.. belagak ah? hahaa.. no la.. well that's good la.. feeling as if i'm famous for awhile.. muahahahhaa..
green green green:)
at 1:30 pm
Monday, December 08, 2003
oh ya.. did i blog about buying a new cd? The Darkness? i shared money with hanis.. only this time he's entitled to keep the cd coz i paid 5 cents lesser..how wonderful.. oh well i'm listening to it now.. their guitar rawks! one of the best cds i've bought.. well shared our money to buy.. hahaha.. anw.. that's about it la.. the darkness.. they rawk everyone's world.. happy song.. oh ya speaking about happy.. i've maintained my happiness for the whole of last week.. wheeeeee~~~
maintain, maintain, carry on wak maintain - force vomit.
green green green:)
at 6:53 pm
damn! yesterday was damn tiring tiring tiring tiring.. went for the marathon.. woke up at 3am!, took a cab to pick up derrick then went to national stadium which costs us $29.75.. 'whee'~ anw.. we did our warm up all then the marathon started at around 6+.. i jogged all the way.. cool right for someone like me who doesn't stop jogging.. well derrick.. he jogged with me for the first 8km.. then he disappeared..
anw.. i think our timing was around 1 hour.. strange right? 1 hour is so long.. anw.. nvm if it's like that.. like that la.. i'll see the timing once they send me the certificate.
oh well.. went to scc, 'my clubhouse' to change, bathe, relac and all with derrick.. then went to toa payoh and had our breakfast.. not that feeling but it's ok.. after that we went home.. obviously derrick had his rest.. i guess while i had people coming over and stuff like that.. so i only fell aslp for like half an hour only..
then hanis called to meet all of them, ahmad, johan, hanis and zahier at the bus stop.. and ahmad johan and i were wearing black.. cool eh? So they stayed at my house for awhile.. ahmad.. eating only.. 'jemput ahmad jemput'.. hahaha.. then we went fariza's house.. like the cookies there..nice and all.. then when to johan's house.. hhahaha.. his father funny fellar la.. kasihan zahier kena kutok.. luckily ahmad escape.. then went to farhan's house coz ahmad's house's area 51.. he keeps spaceships and aliens and all.. hahahaha.. ahmad ahmad...
so farhan's house was also interesting.. macoroni.. and my favourite cookies again!.. haha.. then only after that we went to hanis's house.. played ps for awhile.. his mother cooked spaghetti.. it was nice and all.. I keep saying nice and all ah? anw stayed quite long there coz got playstation.. then went to dzul's house.. interesting.. food again.. and ahmad the vacuum cleaner finishes everything..
then took we split up to 2 taxis.. ahmad dzul and i and hanis johan and zahier.. we reached first the fare was quite ok la.. share money la then.. only then hanis and all came.. so cikgu's house is pretty big.. ok la.. fucking big... hanis said 'cikgu kau punya jamban style'. ahhahahahhaa! funny man.. tak baik seh.. jangan marah ah hanis.. main main ajer.. anw.. cikgu's house damn nice la.. got organ, got piano.. tried playing them both.. ok la.. i failed my last grade but i still could play.. so i guess it's ok.. cikgu cooked ayam emas.. got ice-cream and all.. nice la..
ok.. so the whole of last week was damn tiring had trg on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday went out to check out new cds on Wednesday and Saturday.. Sunday had my marathon and going jalan raya until 1am.. cool eh? oh well.. juz came home from jalan jalan again.. didn’t go for trg today coz I overslept..so met hanis at city hall.. went window shopping for nice puma stuff! They’re into casual stuff.. very the old skool.. but nice!
‘I’m going gaga over puma’
it rhymes right? coooooool……..
green green green:)
at 1:04 pm
Friday, December 05, 2003
i feel like going to buy cdssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss tmr.. hmv, gramophone, tower records... anywhere will do. as long as they have such a variety of nice nice music.. ok there are some 'few' cds i wanna get.. like; The Darkness, RHCP Greatest Hits, American Adventure, green day's kerplunk and insomniac, i'm not sure if i wanna get blink's new album.. only liked the first song.. feeling this. it's a nice song. the chorus tune is still in my head.. oh well. was listening to force vomit's He's No Longer. the lyrics were quite nice la..
I still watching you go
Singing your goodbyes
While the big screen shows
While we top the pops
You took your flight
A smile and a wave goodbye
I try, pleasure in loss
Now I'm on my own
I can't stay for sure
I won't see the end
So I'll try not
To look, guess i'm ok now
Goodbye my friends
Now the train has come
Now this song is done
Won't you sing along(X2)
i've been putting quite alot of lyrics in my blog.. irritating eh? well. i bored that is why i am doing all these. obviously i'm wasting my phone bill also.. when when when will i ever get to use broadband. please. somebody.. anybody~~
green green green:)
at 11:38 pm
and so another tiring day.
force vomit.. give up for the trustfund rawks! was busy listening to it since yesterday night.. morning.. on my way to the trg also. trg today was fine. i like the deflection trg. i didn't know i could do THAT well. well it was nice and all. i'm really enthu about hockey now.. wonder why?..
derrick and i went to collect our entry packs at pan pacific hotel.. classie seh.. anw.. got our t shirts.. nice. got green colour.. whee~ but i don't know if i'm really for the marathon. i'm half dead right now. trg has been on since monday.. well for me la..
oh ya.. we're planning to go jalan raya after the marathon.. fun eh? i don't know this ahmad and all. i just hope i won't faint or anything else. hmm friday ain't quite bad i'd say. i just wish something nie would happen within next week near my birthday. Something Special Maybe? ahaha.. i cakap only not expecting much but hey.. it's my birthday.. i do wish Something Really Nice would happen.. oh well. tired tired tired.
green green green:)
at 11:14 pm
Force Vomit - Liberator
Close your eyes and sleep for awhile
Wake up, it's tomorrow
Don't clean the bloodstainds off your hands
I can't can't can't can't cry anymore
Can't cry anymore
Can't lie anymore
Can't die anymore
Open your eyes and here's a surprise
Wake up, it's the time of your life
Self valentines we've burnt and regret
The swear words we tend to forget
Where's my bolivar?
Who's my bolivar?
Welcome, liberator
Liberator...
they got some nice guitar shits going on in that music.. love that song. very catchy. now that song is in my head. i should be offline right? hahahaha. i'm off.
green green green:)
at 1:40 am
Give It Up For The Trustfund Rockers. Force vomit.
thursday 5th 2003, few days more to my birthday. anw. like i said. ain't expecting much. i'm very tired after 2 hockey trainings. it all went smoothly when all of a sudden.. i started to have that very low low feeling in me. and also the happiness part of me because i got back my force vomit album. thank you hanis. oh well. tmr is friday another training.. training marathon. this is what i call pre-season training. muahahaha.
so like i said.. started having that low kinda feeling after the 2nd training.. don't know why also. anw. i shouldn't let the sadness take over me. i must have this happy kinda feeling. so it'll be a complete 1 week for being happy! hahaha. i know i'm supposed to be offline and stone or something like that.. but what the fuck? i'll get the scolding later not now.
it has been a very busy busy week. i've been practically out since monday.. trainings, going out buying cds.. or maybe a cd.. wasting time in gramophone, tower records, hmv finding for new music. like The Darkness! i feel like getting them. tmr me and derrick going to collect our entry packs for the marathon. i've been training here and there and i'm not sure if i should look forward to it. and after that.. i might going jalan raya so what the hell.. got much more actually but you know me.. being an illegal internet user and stuff like that.. have to limit meself u see..
green green green:)
at 12:33 am
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
what am i doing online? i'm supposed to be listening to music. i can't come online. i'll get killed! anw. i shall make this a fast one. i kept playing blink 182 - feeling this in my head. a very nice song. i bought force vomit! well didnt really bought it myself. hanis paid along as well, but i paid more! so i get to keep the cd. anw. he's happily listening to it. well i'm listening to his saves the day and foo fighters. oh ya. wednesday turned out to be good~ jolly.. happy and all. it's good! can't wait for tmr. trg again. whee~ anw. i got alot to blog but i gotta limit myself for using the internet.. i know my bills will blow up 100+.. and i'm still online for what? i have no idea.
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I’ll leave when I wanna
that's the chorus from blink 182. i kept playing that chorus over and over again. i still don't know if i should get the album.. oh well i'm off. \m/
green green green:)
at 11:26 pm
Monday, December 01, 2003
noticed that most people don't bother reading me blog. oh well that ain't my problem. my monday.. it all came unprepared. except for the trg in the morning which i was the only sec4 boy turning up for it. it's ok.. hanis couldn't make it.. he was sick.. hope he's alright now.. anw.. we had gym trg for 1 and 1/2 hours.. then played abit of hockey.. quite fun playing with the sec1s.. they very the one kind. weird la they all. mr danker had to leave half way coz he had something important somewhere.. whee~.. there's trg tmr again.. 6-9 delta. this is the time where i can get back my fitness and maybe my basics..
so after trg.. i didn't know what to do.. waited at the bus stop thinking where to go? what to do? so i made my way to toa payoh.. met derrick unexpectedly.. talked to him.. but he had to go also coz he had to go for some prefect meeting with smss. hahaha
so he went and took a straight bus.. while i i took the train to city hall. paid my club fees for this year and next year.. met mr malik.. nice old chap.. had great time talking to him.. haha. i asked him if he had taken his lunch yet.. so we went to this very busy busy place.. raffles place there for our lunch.. the mee rebus there was feeling.. sedap~~~ talk to mr malik about other trips. i kept bugging him for another trip.. hahaha. he said.. maybe we might watch the alam shah tournament! thumbs up! so we walked back to the club house.. talk to him for awhile busy looking at which dates we are free to go for any of the trips.. he's well 'organised'. hahahhaha no la.. he just likes scribbling.. anw.. gave him some new contact numbers. coz he's phone book full wih old numbers. most of us change our numbers.. oh well..
i left around 3+.. i told him i had to go.. so i made my way to the esplanade. nice place.. enjoyed staring at the sea.. the scenery.. everything man.. that place nice to free your mind! power ada.. went to the library.. search for green day scores.. their notes.. couldn't get them i was to lazy to search one by one.. so i left for hmv. walk through the citylink.. saw the rhcp's and no doubt's greatest hits. listened to POD and limp bizkit. they're quite nice.. POD nicer.. spend in hmv for like an hour or more then walk to city hall station.. then took the train to somerset.. made my way to gramophone.. search for kerplunk.. one of green day's album couldn't get it.. the cashier told me it's sold out.. maybe i should try the cash converter one day.. so i bought the no doubt coz it's $1 cheaper.. hahahaa.. walk to taka. search for a pair of sandals but couldn't get also.. so took the train back to marina bay.. sit my ass all the way to woodlands and walk at causeway point searching for sandals and i finally bought them.. couldn't get the reebok sandals i wanted.. i bought the yonex sandals.. nike and adidas too expensive la.. i didnt bring much money.. oh wait.. i did.. but i spend it on food, club fees, cd.. and top up my ez link card..
oh well it's all busy here and busy there alone with me.. sad me.. went out alone.. but it was fun.. i quite like it.. ahahahha! oh well i'm too happy to think of it now.. I can’t type anymore my sister beside me listening to no doubt.. and she’s singing.. oh well.. I’m happy.. who care’s if she’s singing or what.. anw.. i look forward to tmr’s trg..
green green green:)
at 9:57 pm
