Talk Show On Mute

Friday, September 30, 2005

updating johan's blog on him.his pc is currently down. hope his doin fine w/o his connections. hes prolly sleeping away or just watching tv.

i miss him~

-sara-

green green green:)
at 8:41 pm

Monday, September 26, 2005

soundcheck: whatsername - green day

today was quite smooth. went quite well, though i'm quite sleepy and tired. i don't know why, maybe just not enough sleep.

today'sher birthday, i hope she had fun. :) i didn't really message her much today. she thought of meeting me tomorrow but i'm meeting my friends. i know i'm such a dick sometimes. i screw things up. i don't know. i'm tired and i don't mind cancelling meeting up with my friends for her. i can meet my friends some other time. i'm not saying girls come first but really, i think i owe her something. i don't know. sometimes, i'm a bad person to her.

green green green:)
at 10:12 pm

Sunday, September 25, 2005

soundcheck: torn - natalie imbruglia

i just got back from work, everything was well. i am very tired though, yesterday got home like about 1230plus. slept at 1.30am. the party yesterday was chaos i tell you. well most of my friends was like drinking lots of beer. damn heavy lah. the good part was, i had ice cream to keep me accompany. sadly, i didn't sit alone drinking coke, i was walking around laughing at friends getting drunk.

it was noisy, it was happening, it was.... techno for awhile. what a turn off lah!! there's the band, the guitarist, my friend, is damn good. i like him when he played the led zeppelin, one of the part from stairways to heaven. it was well played lah, to me at least. so party was worth going. only that i didn't had to pay my $15 dollars. hahahah. i was sitting one corner for awhile waiting for the lucky draw number. because i took part in the ipod nano lucky draw. and i was hoping that it would be my number.unfortunately, it's not lah. it's sad lah. nano ipod damn glam lah. damn happening, damn macam macam lah!

nano ipod, woah, it's like some UNO card, only smaller and damn stylo milo. but, i'm still wanting for the normal ipod. the 20gb. it will come, i would have to save slowly. ipod won't run away. i'll save slowly. school attachment for another 2 more months people! 2 more months! and fasting month is coming soon, those of you like me, think that you're growing sideways, eat all you want now.

fasting month starts on the 5th, i'll be gone on the 7th to HK. will be back on the 9th. i hope things would go smoothly. will update on this again if it really happens. :) i'm abit joyful today.

just one more thing. tomorrow is Sara's Birthday.
i can't really stay up till 12.
i can't think of something to write to her.
i hope just a wish would be fine.
i love her
i hope she'll be fine, and things would go well for her.

happy birthday to you
hope your dreams would come true
you're finally 18
you could go watch M18

happy birthday to you
i hope you'll enjoy your day too
gaze at nowhere and smile
make a wish, just for awhile.

happy birthday to you
be happy in whatever you do
enjoy, be happier
may everything be fine in future

green green green:)
at 10:06 pm

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

im actually blogging on behalf of Johan. he jus finished talking to me on the phone. he sounds tired lah. we will be goin to sentosa// yipee!! cable car rides. afternoon sun glaze. nuzzles. teehee! i guess he is sleeping soundly now. i cant get to sleep.im craving fr pringles and lays. those nachos wif cheese.. yummy! makes me horny i guess.. hmm ok enuff. i dunno wat else to type.

-sara-

p/s: i love johan!

green green green:)
at 11:54 pm

soundcheck: ironic - alanis morissette

i was staring infront of the computer screen, thinking of last year. what happened when it was reaching fasting month and all, it was all sad. and being a wimp lah, i teared for awhile. last year's hari raya was the very sad. there was some reasons to it. well, some of my friends would know. well i'm not going to let that happen again. i'm gonna make this year fasting month and Hari Raya a GREEN one.

so enough with the sad sappy stuff, on with the new stuff lah! we'll pull through. we will.

green green green:)
at 6:55 pm

Monday, September 19, 2005

soundcheck: save me - corrinne may

it's one by one lah. i'm sick of bad things happening. my house phone line has but terminated due to some problems. i'm quite confused why, yesterday we didn't pay the full amount of it but we paid like half of it. and usually when that happens, we will somehow pay back the remaining. i checked my account to see if i could do my part and obviously i can't. i've already spent most of my money on paying bills and my daily miscellaneous.

so people, if you are trying to get through my house number, if it cant't be connected, i'm truly sorry. i have to wait either for the next pay or probably someday. i got a feeling i'm going to have this again. it happened once, everything was dark at home, i had to study for my PSLE in the dark. those really were my dark moments, i thought i could forget that day. it was really sad and all. i remember i brought home my hockey trophy and my mother opened the door and told me, there's nothing to worry about. being a 12 year old kid, i was somehow quite curious. but i didn't really took it to notice about what really happened then. then i realised someday later that all my power supplies at home were cut off, including my phone line. i realised also my father was going through a bad time.

i don't know why suddenly i brought them up now. well, i am old enough to do them a favour. i'll work for my money. i guess from tomorrow onwards, if the matter is going worse, i won't start to bring my phone. i realised my handphone bill too is shooting up. i got to control them.

~~we've been going through alot of bad times. we've suffered alot. we had our joys just for the moment.~~ i'm trying to replace everything back with a smile and happiness in my family. i'll study hard and try to get a good job and earn hard for them. this is just a test from God. we'll hold on, we'll managed, we'll hold on.

lastly, not forgetting her, i do love her much.

green green green:)
at 9:33 pm

Sunday, September 18, 2005

i'm feeling much better after going out walking around causeway point. i decided to scrap my hair, well at least to keep them short now. i had them shaved like NS hair cut. well, i'm not getting ready for NS but i just thought of get rid of it coz i hate to style up my hair. and so i am hapy with this hair cut.

i hope she's feeling better. hopefully we'll meet tomorrow if there's nothing, insyallah.

i'm off now.. getting ready for school tomorrow. i hope......

ps: thanks hanis for the tag, i hope things are going well for you too, i read you blog just last night, well, morning lah. you should cheer up too. take care. all the best for your upcoming exams and all.

green green green:)
at 9:47 pm

soundcheck: everywhere - michelle branch

this really sucks. i'm not in good terms with my mother right now just for some stupid reasons. she just can't understand me. maybe it's me who doesn't understand her. let's just face it, i know i've been a bad son to her. i would rather work now then having stayed at home not talking to anyone. i was supposed to work actually but sadly i had a course today which supposed to be at 10 till 2.30 but it was cancelled. so actually after 2.30 i was supposed to go out with her. but she was not free. so i'm actually just stuck at home. i'll probably just go somewhere and walk around aimlessly if i really can't take it. because staying at home, i'm bound to have just a small fight and it will lead to a big one with my mother. so i rather have the cool breeze than rather having a quarrel with my mother. it really hurts coz i always thought the better for her. she's my mother, she brought me up to study hard and take care of her someday.. not to be rude and be bad son to her or anything..

i better get going and probably do something good at home. maybe after that i could go around walk somewhere.

i wrote this yesterday. it seems that i couldn't quite seem to get to sleep. oh well.

Sing me a song to sleep
I know it's you that I need
I never want to lose you
I don't know what I'm going through

It's 1am already
And my eyes are heavy
Yet I can't get to sleep
It's you that's all I need

Should I leave you here?
Can we be together forever?
Put me back to sleep
I know it's you that's all I need.

green green green:)
at 12:21 pm

soundcheck: all that i've got - the used

it's freaking 1am in the morning. i can't get to sleep. i'm so disappointed. i have nothing else to say. i don't know whether i'm on the right path. my parents are not up with the idea of me with her. my mother thinks these are all just temporary stuffs. she thinks that they're never true until you're at a certain age. i was left questioned.

i don't want to end it. yesterday, well it was not too long ago just now, we had an awkward conversation on the phone. i was just being abit pissed coz she said she could go out tomorrow and last minute she say she couldn't coz her parents want her to be home. i got abit ticked off. but somehow i need to overcome it, get use to it. these things are bound to happen again, not having it on purpose though.

but it all leads to one, should i do the stupid stuff and move on with life without her temporarily, or permanently. or just letting go of all these so that i won't have to face all these. i'm really confused, i do need her and i do not ever want to lose her, but after hearing my parent said something me and a relationship, it's just so sad.

lately this few weeks, most of my entries are always so sad.

i wish they never had happened. i wish i never had blog bad entries. i'm striking all of these.

green green green:)
at 12:59 am

Sunday, September 11, 2005

im blogging on behalf of my lil darling. hes currently working now and will be meeting me up later.. i really love him so much! like hes the sweetest thing ever happened!ok im getting all mushy here.. okie dokie! i end it here...

-mrs toad-

green green green:)
at 2:24 pm

Saturday, September 10, 2005

so today school ended quite early coz it's a friday. every friday we have half day. came home around 3plus had a lonnnng sleep till about 7. went down to my sister's place to help a little. there will be a so called house warming and kenduri there. it will be around in the afternoon. i've already most of my friends to come down for it too. probably they'll reach around in the evening. ok, my computer screen is fading here and there.. i better make this a quick entry. so, i'm hoping things would go smoothly tomorrow.

i'm hoping on sunday i would have half day. i'm trying to request for it because i really want to go out with her. it's abit dumb of me to work on a sunday actually. but we'll see how, i won't get to see her often next week. her schedule and mine are somewhat quite jammed pack. i'm sure there'll still be time for each other.

alright i'm off.

green green green:)
at 12:06 am

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

soundcheck: all you wanted - michelle branch

i just need some slow song to drift me away. i don't why i'm feeling so down. i realised that i'm losing lots of stuff. i can't picture them but i know it will be gone soon. i'm losing my interest in playing hockey, i'm losing all of my friends, i think i might just lose interest for aiming higher nitec. i don't know if i'm losing her too.

the day today went quite slow actually. we had some talk about HIV and AIDS at the auditorium. i wonder why attachment application people have to be there too, we have better things to do. well actually, wasting time at the auditorium was better lah. hahaha.. of course, some of us took the advantage of sleeping there, while others like me, drift to nowhere, and listened abit about the talk.

i hope to meet up with my ite mates soon. i thought of relacsing with them at al-ameen near woodlands, drink teh tarik, prata, and lots of nonsense to talk over and over again. i guess i really blend in with them.

oh well, i'm meeting her tomorrow. thinking of meeting up to eat somewhere or just walk somewhere. i'll probably figure out where we will go. on top of that, Happy 3rd month! hmm.. :)

green green green:)
at 8:59 pm

Monday, September 05, 2005

soundcheck: my all - mariah carey

i still remember my sister singing that song for some karaoke competition. she has a very nice voice. i remember her taking part in asia bagus. i guess i'm quite lucky to have a sister that cares for me, she buys me everything! now, i just remembered her birthday is coming. i must think of something good to get for her. ontop of that sara's birthday is coming soon too! i hope i'll be able to spend the day with her at sentosa. what i always thought of. hmm we'll see how it goes. so i have 2 birthdays coming up. i have no idea what to get for them!

hmm sara is sick now. met her at woodlands, she followed me along to settle my bills and then i accompanied her back to clementi coz i didn't know she was actually sick. i hope she takes care of herself. :) i love her. hmm, i hope she'll be alright coz she can't get an mc or she'll have to make up on saturday. she's having her attachment and it's quite strict there i heard.

speaking about attachment, i just realised i'm staying in school for the next f*cking 3months plus. i heard among the 3 of us who were chosen, only one selected to go for the company attachment. oh well, i think i'm used to eating alone in school. hmm oh well, i hope to meet up with all of my friends soon. real soon.

after school tomorrow, i have training. i have to come back home to get change and to bukit timah for training. alright, i'm off.

i also just remembered that tomorrow would be our 3rd month together! i'm such an ass to forget about it. lucky me, she reminded me. oh well, i'm really off.

green green green:)
at 8:28 pm

Sunday, September 04, 2005

it's 1030pm now. i sort of just got home close to 10pm. i met her actually, had dinner at the night safari's bongo burgers. it's more than feeling eating there. that was my first time i didn't get to finish eating my food. hmm.. today was actually quite alright. working was abit daze but it was fine.

just when i got home, i realised that who are really my bunch of friends? have i forgotten about them? well, to me.. all of them are from my secondary school. they were really a good circle of friends i had. well, till then. but now, i' feel like i'm getting old, i no longer mix with my ite schoolmates either. we're too busy with our attachment and everytime when i thought of meeting up, something might just cork up. i think i'm losing them and i really don't want to. hmm i guess that i can't do anything about it.

i was thinking actually, i was supposed to plan hanis birthday, and none of us were free, well i was but it's weird of me going out with the jc people. i don't get along well with them i guess. hmm, this is where it ends.

Vanished From This Town
Why do we have to stop here?
Why do we have to end with tears?
Looks like everyone has their own ways.
And I'm standing here alone, and I’ve got nothing else to say.

Slowly, I'm being pushed to the back of the picture, crying.
And soon, I’ll find myself disappearing.
It was all so fine.
And we have to end up here when it’s not our time.

Is this how the story ends?
Is this how the story was meant?
All I know is that there's no use stopping.
Coz now to me, life is changing,
And at the same time, it's fading.

i actually wrote that when i was in sec 4. oh well.
goodnight. i need my sleep.
work was actually quite tiring

green green green:)
at 10:27 pm

Friday, September 02, 2005

it's already 12plus. i have a long day ahead. i feel abit tired. i'm on the phone with her. i just finished doing her blog template. i hope she likes it. :) anyway, i better go off soon. tomorrow, i'll confirm be late.

green green green:)
at 12:10 am