Sunday, March 26, 2006
hello.yes. i'm freaking happy.i got into higher nitec!but it's not mechanical eng.it's mechatronics eng.i hope to succeed well.i promised myself to fast.syukuralhamdulillah.your mother's so fat, that when she jump for joy,she got stuck.hur hur.that was so random.- russell peters
green green green:)at
11:19 pm
Monday, March 20, 2006
ohh and Happy 19th to benji!next year 20 already.no more teenager....hahaha.
green green green:)at
9:37 pm
soundcheck: sleeping in - the postal service
i hope my computer screen won't turn blank half way while i type my entry. i was happily, no.. not happily.. i was actually dazed and i had lots to blog about yesterday.. but till only when my screen when blank and i couldn't retrieve it. damn it. anyway had so much to blog, these was one of it.
i realised that i am awfully unsuccessful in everything. i have friends who actually have wonderful lives and they are living it wonderfully, definately. let me give you a summary of my unsucessful life so far since primary school. fuck me if i'm too negative. i just have to let it out. ohh ok, so here it goes.. primary school. i blew my whole 6 years there. i was pretty much a playful 11 year old kid who didn't know how much future meant to me. i actually barely made it to em2 for my streaming for p5. but when it was streaming for p6, i failed. while my friends, they of course did well. some of them even em1. i was far off.
secondary school. i didn't really fucked my whole 4 years there but it could've been better if i had done well for sec 1. but it was fine. i made it through that 4 years. yet, i realised my friends were all far off better than me. haha of course they were. i revolved with my circle of friends who are in express most. it's not that i don't have friends in my class but all of those friends were from my primary school. but i was happy there. i became a chairman. and my class were some power bunch of people. but yet, i knew i was far off apart from my friends.
now, i just graduated my 2 years course in ite balestier. i've made a new circle of friends, all of them too graduated. we all applied for higher nitec course in dover. all of them got it, some even made it into poly. and again, i'm far off.
i'm in every losing end. i will always be left astrayed, stranded?
i'm still awaiting for the appeal result. so far no news but they said to go online and appeal through there. i guess i have to believe in myself and be closer to Him. i still have my hopes on my appeal for the course.
green green green:)at
9:13 pm
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
soundcheck: lights and sounds - yellowcard
actually i'm re-arranging my songs in my computer since morning. i had the whole day to myself. it was a slow one also. i was supposed to go training today but i was in a rush and because of that i forgot to bring my socks along. i only realised that i forgot to bring it when i was on my way to marsiling MRT. so i didn't bother to rush back and and then head back to the bus stop again because when i left at first it was already 715-720. i couldn't make it by 8 then. so i couldn't be bothered more. i was really hyped up today go for training because i need to get things out of my mind. i've been doing alot of jogging and running after work. with my colleagues and my friends sometimes inside the zoo. just that one round, use up all my whole energy. i've been doing abit of work outs at home too. i just need to push myself back where i left.
so things have not been going well with myself lately. i'm stuck left wondering, left waiting because i tried to appeal for higher nitec due to my low GPA points. so now i'm left with questions, i don't know if i can get it. i really want to go higher nitec. it's part of my plan. it's my future. i also don't want to be left in the dark. it's better to struggle now then struggle later. i'm supposed to be happy with what i have now, even the ipod i just bought. it's supposed to be a dream come true, and it was. and now, after knowing i couldn't qualify for higher nitec. i was shattered man. really was. i checked my results when i was working actually, and that point, i was fucking nervous. i couldn't wait till i got home because i just want to know as soon as possible. i even called my mother before i knew just to tell her that i'm going to check my results. after i saw the sentence "not successful", it was like, blank.. i couldn't work at all. now, i'm asking for my uncle's help. we're not that close because our relation is sort of complicating and it's abit far off. but my father manage to get his help because they 2 are cousin so, yea.. now all my certificates were photocopied and sent to him so that he could show his head of department and try to let me in. now, i'm waiting for the interview, and when it's 21st, i would still have to go online to appeal for it so that it's sort of secured? to put it in a way lah.
i'm so screwed. i never liked putting my thoughts into negativity but it always pass me by. hahaha, well no one does. i don't know why can't my life be as simple as i thought. i know i wasted once during my p5 life. and then i screwed again during sec 1. all of those maybe could have brought me somewhere serving a 3 year course i like in some poly. for now, i don't really want to talk about anything. it's totally over. i will be left in the dark till i know if i'm going higher nitec or not. it's all up to Him. i know i've not been good but yeah. enough said right? well i will know sooner or later this month. before the school starts for the new intakes. till then.
green green green:)at
11:11 pm
Saturday, March 11, 2006
i didn't get the school.
i'm screwed.
i'm astrayed.
fuck.
green green green:)at
11:43 pm
Im uber jealous.. coz he has wat i want !!
-sara
green green green:)at
10:38 pm
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
soundcheck: pada syurga di wajahmu - nash
you know, this is one of the nicest sad malay songs? hahaha. well it's quite sentimental. anyway, my computer is fixed alright. i went down to causeway point this afternoon along with derrick to get my computer done. i bought a windows xp home edition for l $169. it wasn't a rip off lah because it's a original package for goodness sake. oh well it's running well for now till my anti virus expires in june this year. yes, i must find a way to update it.
tomorrow i'm working and i will know my results. i'm very scared, i don't know if i could barely make it for ite dover. ohh please i want to carry on to study. i'm already hopeless in most stuff. i've not been going for hockey trainings. i don't have any motivation to go. i want to get ready for division but nothing works. i just want to get back to school. i want to further my studies. nitec cert isn't something in singapore. i at least need a diploma.. but let's talk about tomorrow first. i'm hoping for the best. i will check my results through online at work. ohh.. please be a good news.
ohh and also. thanks derrick for fixing my computer. THANKS!!!!! i think i want you to sign a contract so that whenever my computer screws up, i'll call you. anytime, anywhere. thanks alot!
green green green:)at
9:41 pm
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
hmm it's a normal tuesday afternoon. i had lots of nonsense food in my stomach now. nacho doritos, popcorn, cadbury chocolates, ferrero rochers. i feel like a thrash bag. sentosa outing was fun, well almost. it's good to meet my secondary school friends again, thanks again ahmad, benji, hanis, johan, derrick nawfel. but i realised somehow now we've all live in a different world. i somehow feel i just can't feel free to talk like how we use to talk.. hahaha maybe it's me but i don't know. it's just me i guess. but not forgetting my ite friends. we guys just let it all out lah.
ohh 2 more days to my school posting. i hope i really get mech engineering in dover. i want to be active in that school. especially in sports back. i realised being in ite balestier made me grow sideways. ohh.. see plus the food i just ate. wonderful lah.
ok i'm going up back for a nap and then gotta force myself to go training. got to get ready for div 1.
green green green:)at
2:52 pm
Friday, March 03, 2006
right now, my comp is really screwed. it keeps on restarting. so my dear die hard reader who reads my blog, it will be abandoned so for the time being. but no worries i will be back as soon as it's fixed. HOPEFULLY. i'll be BORED at home. and to add on, this month, i am not working alot. so no blogging for the mean time.
ohh this paragraph is just for sara. see i do blog about you. i went out with you yesterday. we went mustafa centre. see. i blogged about you. :)
iloveyou.
green green green:)at
8:54 pm
