i've been having deep thought these few days and somehow it bugs me, really. it's like i am not myself or just something that is not right for a reason. i know i really do think alot about what has happened to me, ups and downs. i've been in 2 relationships already and sadly both didn't worked out as planned. not that i am crying over spill milk but obviously as someone with feelings and such you would tend to ponder sometimes and feel the sadness of the outcome of it.
today's physical test was cancelled. i'm growing a belly till july. it's a month before i end my national service in SPF. till then i hope to earn some money for the future and start travelling if i can, before i start school again. speaking about school, i can't wait for it to start all over again. where all you care is just about going to school, do your work, assignments, activities, sports, then go back home or go to work, and then come back home and too lazy to think of anything. i wanna live my life again, soon.....
green green green:)
at 9:00 pm
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
it's a wednesday and i'm at home feeling sick still. i'm still feeling lethargic and tomorrow i have my fitness test! i'm going to gamble it! i trained for it and tomorrow i will let it out!
on the other note, today's my mother's birthday! unfortunately she's down with a high fever as well because might be from me, i'm sorry.. but nonetheless, happy birthday and stay healthy. i'll promise i'll do well, insyallah! you will too!
me and my sister celebrated her birthday at carousel last weekend and it was awesome! sadly i was down with the sickness so i didn't get to enjoy most of the food! the day before buffet outing, i treated the family canadian pizza! i love the chewing of cheese along with meat all inside my mouth. anyways, i hope she had a blast for her celebration. she's having her rest now.. i hope her a speedy recovery. OHH please hope for me too. my temp has not been going down since ytd..
i'm going for a shower...
green green green:)
at 7:43 pm
Monday, April 19, 2010
time heals nothing until you've found someone who can; as quoted by a friend.
it's been 2 long years now and lately, well there were 2 days straight before, i had a dream of someone. someone i thought i really put everything and her into the past. i even had a dream about her that i dreamt of her in that dream and it felt so real. haha did you get what i mean? and that i could actually communicate with her and held her, saying that i still do want her back.. ironic, i know. even i thought that i manage to put her and everything about us in the past now but i guess i was wrong.. maybe..
funny i missed how she always pampers me with everything.. and i mean everything. most of the stuff i have was actually bought from her. she could be the perfect partner for a life time. only i was too blind and naive to know.
it's not like i missed her or anything, i mean i totally know that i've moved on and all. i know i was that stupid guy who couldn't manage things with her or do simple things like take care of her. i know that all of these was a smack in my face to realise that i was just living a dream and that she could have been with me if i had not be living in my own shell. i just don't get it why i still do have her in my thoughts and dream about her feeling that i could be that someone to her again..? it's not like i will have the opportunity. i don't think so coz stuff like these only exists in fairy tales. and i'm no longer living in one now. hahha.
i don't know, maybe my mind's just playing with me.
maybe it's all just a lesson to learn...
maybe it's all about remembering the good and not the bad ones. :)
green green green:)
at 12:07 pm
i wanna get me this! jetfire and optimus prime combined!
green green green:)
at 10:07 am
Sunday, April 18, 2010
suddenly everything comes back in mind.
there's a show on channel 5 right now and showing lilo and stitch.
somehow it reminds me of someone who loves being around its plush toys.
now... sadly, they're just memories....
green green green:)
at 8:02 pm
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
i want to watch alot of movies!
take me out and treat me!
green green green:)
at 9:21 am
Monday, April 12, 2010
it was about 1.30am when i left base for anti crime duty yesterday at geylang. my ipod was on and jack johnson was on the playlist. i was looking out the little small window which i could see the light coming from the highway lamp post. and as each light passes through, it actually synchronises with the beat of jack johnson playing and somehow, it ironically enlightens my night.
i know it may seem like i'm doing well and such, but actually i'm quite living in denial. it really hurts to see that it happens from the person i actually really care about and the return that i get, probably not the one i should deserve. not that i'm not trying to move on and forget about what has happened, but what she had done shows how much someone can do damage and failure to you.
i hope this is the last i come across a person like this. i wouldn't want to face such person no more..
kudos to you and i hope you'll find your happiness within your life.
green green green:)
at 7:34 pm
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
i would love to learn the ukelele someday. then i'll post my own songs on youtube. :)
green green green:)
at 6:23 pm
you've let me down.
you really did.
why?
why?
green green green:)
at 1:38 pm
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Soundcheck: burn the evidence - billy talent
you're just...
i can't believe...
why...
i hate myself for...
you never cared anyway.
kudos to you.
green green green:)
at 2:57 pm
Saturday, April 03, 2010
countdown to my Operationally Ready Date would be 5months from now.
within these few months left, i have to clear alot of obstacle. there's these 2 physical training test i have to pass plus a shooting classification using HKMP5. how cool is that, i've not shoot with that since like last year.
ohh did i mention that fixing the pieces of me back together is another obstacle? go figure.
i have to keep myself occupied, occupied, occupied!
green green green:)
at 10:30 am
