Talk Show On Mute

Monday, June 30, 2008

it's a quiet monday and i finally got to sleep to the late morning. waking up at 11plus seems soo long ago since the last i did that. when it was during school period before, i even have class at 1pm and at least i get to wake up at that time. i honestly miss school so bad, work is driving me crazy. i feel like i have no life and i want to cry whenever i'm work, even during class was much more interesting than work.

school was every one's golden years. because you don't have to think like an adult. every weekday is just books, friends, meeting irritating teachers, break times, and sleepy train and bus rides.

now at work, i have responsibilities, i have a position, a role to be a part, i have to entertain guest that will bite your ears, calming them down because GUESTS ARE ALWAYS FUCKING RIGHT, we have to give in because it's NEVER their mistake.

all i thing about now aren't homework, assignments and projects. but feeling dreadful because work is hell, work is everything bad, apart from the when it's the pay day.

i wish i could read you like how i read a book. i wish you're like a dictionary which has a meaning so i can understand who you are. i wish you could be that someone to answer my questions whenever i'm asking why or in doubts with things i shouldn't be. i just wish you could guide me wherever this is going like how i would like to guide you too. it doesn't matter if you're a time ticking bomb, i would want to be that someone who could defuse and disarm the bomb. lastly, i could be that someone in the handicapped toilet. hahaha.

green green green:)
at 12:46 pm

soundcheck: spaz - n.e.r.d.

you know, i hate it when i'm trying to be sincere and understanding telling everything will be okay, but there's no replies coming from the other side? it feels like i'm left hanging and i don't like a single bit of it. not that i'm getting worked up over it but i just thought that a confirmation, maybe would do good? i don't know but nevermind anyway.

i know i'm really irritating but for the fact is that i love irritating people for the fun, love, peace and joy. i don't have any intentions of making them feel agitated nor pissed over something that i don't even mean anything at all. even if i do feel like i want to really irritate someone for the sake of getting the person irritated, it is really for pure sacarsm or a revenge right back at them.

i just don't want to be wrongly judged for that something else i'm trying to do or to prove, is actually for something else, that kind of thing. hmm but then again, it comes back to a point where i think i'm just thinking too much, jusrt way too much.

macdonalds session has become some sort like a normal routines, mcnuggets, mcchicken, ice milo, lce lemon tea, mccafe. it was a fun session just now at macs with layla and sharifah... hmm no, minah sounds better for her. hahhaha..

hmm and it is also a routine that i do random calls at about 10pm talking crap and more craps and jamban and jubor, kau is lembu and finally wishing goodnights and send spontaneous random morning messages the next morning that just brightens up both our days. well it doesn't sound soo random now doesn't it? hahhaa.

ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM!

green green green:)
at 12:14 am

Saturday, June 28, 2008

work was a good start, followed by the hockey match.

i want to watch my don't mess with the zohan!

QUICK!

green green green:)
at 9:59 pm

Friday, June 20, 2008

soundcheck: nothing better - the postal service

it feels like every friday ever since my dental appointment has started, i just want to sleep throughout the morning and just skipping it. but NOOO, i had to drag myself out of the bed and go to the dentist and get bloody needles into my gum! this morning, the same thing happened, only this time i think it wasn't that bad but still, i hate needles. no one likes it either. i felt so violated just now, i was staring blank after 4 injection, while waiting for the numbness to occur.

well i'm back home now! i'm waiting for time to past and getting ready for friday prayers.

i was listening to a song, and it reminded me of some stuff. i know there's no point of me feeling so awkward and worked up about this. but every text that i received, i was hoping it'll be a reply. but then again, i'm always hoping too much.. i shouldn't be infact, if it's for good, i'll accept the fact. besides, i love messing things up and whoever comes my way, it's never good for them.. it's practically i'm born to make life miserable.. hhaha

and salleh, you definately need not understand this whole thing.

my coach called me few days back thinking whyi was missing for like 3-4 months already and nit turning up for trainings. so i came up witht eh stupidest reason that i have no money to pay for the club fee. but he told me not to worry, just go for trainings as usual. i think it will be a good start for me since i have alot of things i have been messing up with. so i'm back to hit some balls! i miss hockey...

green green green:)
at 11:51 am

i have some random person cursing and swearing on my tagboard! how cool is that?

i think i shouldn't have worked the whole day today. can you imagine being in the zoo from 0730 till 2315hrs. i totally find it as no life. apart from all that, i had this shitty guest who was at the night safari and he was so bloody rude to me and i had to shut him off. and because of that now, i got my first very complain in written words! whoooo!

ON TOP OF THAT, i just made someone's day even worse. it just gets better and better. yippppeeee.

lovin'it every moment. hmm i guess i'm totally good at messing things up.

hmmm and salleh, like i said, you don't have to understand my blog. no point, no one does.

on a lighter note apart from all these, i am finally a qualified class 2b rider. i guess this is what i'm happy about now. oh well, it seems like i'm going through the shitty part of the life cycle AGAIN! but this time, i have myself to blame.

green green green:)
at 12:18 am

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

soundcheck: wish you were here - incubus

i was friendster-ing and i saw this profile, he had cool pictures at redang! i want to go there before i'm enlisted. i was thinking like next month? anyone interested? the beach is soo clear, i want my thought to be cleared too! i should ask around and survey about the trip. i think it is going tp be great. it is really the sun, sand, sea. sea breeezeeeee.. i could imagine how nice it would be. ok i better stop dreaming and do something!

ok so it's a tuesday afternoon, i just had 6 hotdogs, hazelnut cadbury bar and more junk food. now i feel full, i feel i need to crap real soon too! i'm so not looking forward for traffic police test tomorrow, i have never had self-confidence in myself and i think once again, i'll do badly tomorrow. don't ask why. it's better as saying, wasting money over and over again.

this is boring, i woke up close to 11am, youtubed, check what time is my bike practical later on in the evening, mtv-ed, doing what i do at my best, lying on the sofa switching channels. bathed, laptop again, eat, now on laptop again, probably crap later, fall asleep, wake up to go bbdc.. and yadayadayada... and the cycle will go on something like that again tomorrow?

apart from all of that, i'm somehow looking forward so a teh tarik session, so a meet up later at least! ANYTHING! hahahha i'm also hoping a for nice weekend hang out! infact, i'm hoping for a message right now! YES YOU! hahahha.. nahhh, nah i won't have high hopes, or so i won't try! anyway enjoy.. i'll disturb you when it's necessary again. like NOW!

you know after 2 months not going to school, being in school. i fucking miss school! i would rather go to school than work, i bet all you people think like wise. you know if you're having a bad day at home, and when you're in school, the you just don't even think about it, but when you're at work, the bad day just becomes worse because guests are never easily please. and also guests that that just makes your bad day to fuckthup day.

to all you moronic guests who comes to the zoo and think you're always right? well think again. you're not always at the top you know, we work there. respect us as how we do to all!

green green green:)
at 1:55 pm

Sunday, June 15, 2008

after several tries and being so honest thinking things would be neutral, i was SOOO wrong. and yes, i finally gave up hope on trying to prove my innocence. well, it seems like i'm not convincing enough and yes, i am always something bad towards you and i can never be convinced! hahaha. ohhh anyway, i shall move on and not drag about this whole saga. if the person shall rot, being all messed up, go ahead. never dare said i didn't care, coz i DID. i have no say, infact, countlessly, i tried.

OHH! i just saw this nike advert at causeway point's banquet. it was near the cinema area so i happened to see this advert and i find it cool. ohh or so faiz told me first it was cool.

enough being a kendarat, you have a job on calling me already later! hahhaha. NOT!

green green green:)
at 7:09 pm

Saturday, June 14, 2008

i was on my way home from bbdc this afternoon and i took 187 back home. then i saw this malay dude, he was sitting across. did you know that his bloody eyelashes were fucking long and fucking curled up? FUCK! i was soo amazed because no í honestly have not seen someone like that before. well maybe apart from ME! HAHAH. ONLY I HAVE the long beautiful eyelashes. HAHAH.

ok so that was my random post. goodnight everyone.

ohh i finally bought nice undies and socks. i feel so happy now. not that i don't have undies or my undies are those tearing apart. i take care of my undies real well. ok, why am i even telling this?

green green green:)
at 10:29 pm

Friday, June 13, 2008

soundcheck: say it again - marie digby

today was a well-spent day, yet another.. enjoyed and lovin' it. hahahha.. and that somehow made me drift away from trouble from home. not that i don't want to be at home just needed time to be occupied.

i'm your worse nightmare. :)

green green green:)
at 11:48 pm

Thursday, June 12, 2008

if you worry too much, you'll screw yourself up
i'm always worried about things, and no wonder they won't turn well.
it all begins from me.
i need to fix myself.

green green green:)
at 11:18 pm

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

you know it's like everyone has a bad cycle of their life and i think mine has not ended yet. everytime when i come home it's just conflicts in the house and i know how bad as i don't want to get involve in it, i'm quite old enough and aware of what is happening and it's killing me.

i just want all of these to be erased and i want my mother to be happy and not stressed out about all these. although i know i can never enjoy the luxury of other families, i'm happy with mine but i don't want my mother to go through all of these. i'll promise myself to succeed in life and make her proud and i'll take care of her. i just feel she deserved so much better after going through all these crap.

sorry i'm just writing a going-nowhere-entry or don't-understand-anything-entry because i just feel it should not be said yet. oh well, i just need to release something here.

green green green:)
at 11:46 pm

Monday, June 09, 2008

i need to tell myself stop being all so lazy because i need to the the pay for the loss. i have not been working much because i was too tired, late nights rocks but the outcome rocks. what i meant late night as in being just online all the way. i wouldn't mind going late nights but i have no vehicle to send myself back home during the weeee hours and my mother would be home alone sometimes. wouldn't want to do that.

so here i am again skipping work again although i should be working night safari now. happily typing the this entry out with my fingers pressing every single letters with speed because i'm too used to it.

ok i smell food! i think my mother got the food ready for me. to DA KITCHEN!

green green green:)
at 9:06 pm

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

wordplay - jason mraz

pain killers, toothache every now and then, home rotting, switching channels on the tele, working less, handphone, eat, laptop, late nights, itunes, heavy eye lids, eye bags, unshaved face.

those are some of the few things that i would want to share about me for the past few days. hahhaa. sometimes i feel it's already part of the cycle. i need to get a life. something that is like a rollercoaster, well i had one.. unfortunately i was the dumb idiot one who decides to loose and let go of everything that was going well.

how dumb can i get?

green green green:)
at 10:02 pm