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Thursday, July 28, 2005

Got Milk?

ok i am bored. i'm having a glass of some fresh magnolia milk. i hate those white milk. i prefer chocolate. mmm.. i like all chocolate milks! hmm i wonder why i'm even talking about milks.

i need to go to the ikea again. i need to get stuff for my room. redecorate my room. i like decorating although i have an awful taste of decorating but i still like it. hmm i hope someday i can paint my room green. wish wish...

i miss my mp3 in my computer!!!! i don't know when it'll be fix! i miss downloading songs! i went to the hmv recently and i found quite alot of the bands came out with their new albums. foo fighters, the all american rejects etc etc. hmm i feel like getting an album for the month. at least that album will last me for a few months. hahaha. of course i have to wait for the next pay day. which is not quite long.

i need to start pysical training again. i need to start from square one. i'll work slowly. hockey training, jogging, running, stretchings, gym training, here i come! but one by one la. :) i am stopping myself from massive meals! no more! N O.

ok that's all. i love her.

green green green:)
at 9:21 pm

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

fat

yes i am on the road of growing fat. i think it runs in the family. i think it must be that long long long sport break i had since june. hmm well to me it was long, now i'm having a new hobby. it's always eating now. my money will be only spent on food food food and food! anyway, enough about me ranting growing fat. i would want to thank you all for tagging me. it's really nice of you all to read my blog. hahaha. although i find my blog boring to read, except on some occasion. other than that, they're all boring boring boring. my computer is still not fixed yet. i miss my mp3s in the computer, miss chatting, miss burning my songs into my cds. big time pirate.

school has been quite tiring. lots of production to do. infact, sometimes we get are mass production. but the 'best' part is that we don't get freaking paid! not even a single cent. pathetic! the sad part is that all my friends are now attached to companies and i am all alone in school. i don't really mix well with the people in my department, of course i do make friends with them but i'm not really that close. it's weird to a meal sometimes all by yourself, in your dustcoat, hoping some person you know would just sit and start a conversation. but it won't happen. hahaha. hmm, it's really weird lah. because i don't have my meals or break alone before, so i feel abit awkward. but not to worry, i'm just hoping and thinking about the bright side. i do meet my friends sometimes maybe once a week. so it's alright.

lastly, not forgetting her, actually we've sort sorted things out. hopefully they're permanently gone. no, i'm not going to hope. i am making it permanently gone. oh well, of course i do miss her, hopefully i'll see her tomorrow. hmm anyway i have to go, i'm afraid of sitting here alone. i've just watch some horror movie. i'm out of here!

green green green:)
at 8:30 pm

Saturday, July 23, 2005

untitled - simple plan

i guess, in life when you did something wrong, go fix it yourself. i guess for me, i'm fixing all the wrongs that has been going for the past few weeks. but sadly it's not doing any good. sometimes i just wish i had someone to talk things out. for the past few days, things weren't actually going well for me, but i had to be strong, i had to, and the only way was to hide it all up. but hiding them all up makes it worse and this where i stand now, emotionally break down. i realised that i do nothing good in what i'm focus or concerned with. i don't achieve all these, i can't.

and i realised that i could go this far only. I can't keep them all in me. i can't control myself. for a short while, i felt as if something huge just fell on me and that i couldn't get myself up from it.

i am lost right now, i don't know where i stand. i don't know if i had chosen the right choice, i don't know if i am really ready for this, i really don't. there're so many i don'ts and what ifs. what if i just can't make it through?

i'm left with questions.

green green green:)
at 10:50 pm

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I Want You

it's been quite sometime since the baybeats. i kept humming the tunes I Want You from Electrico. i went to see them perform. well actually it was ahmad, siti and i. hanis was there, with his friends though. anyway, it was a rush from work, we thought we couldn't make it coz being me, an itchy ass, asked if we could take the bus from the zoo. hahaha there was a straight bus there but the journey was very long. lucky us we got there on time. and electrico peformance was great. but baybeats this year seemed abit too boring compared to last year. maybe because i didn't really went for the 3 days there. well firstly, the mood wasn't there. second, i'm too tired of going there from work. well electrico was great. i was expecting them to play Crowd Killer but they didn't. there were afew songs i knew they played, just forgotten the titles. some were from their upcoming album. it should be out by october according to them if i heard correctly.

well, had my hair cut today, i look like a nerdy fellar with my ugly short hair cut. hmm oh well, i've always looked ugly, even now. hahaha. i don't care. hmm, i'm still on the road of growing fat. i have no goals to set for this year. hmm, i wonder why. thats why i've not been succeeding in anything. especially in my fitness for now. and hockey, GOD KNOWS WHAT HAPPEN TO ME AND HOCKEY! usually i'll be so excited for training, now it seems i don't even know when the next training is. damn it!

ooh i better get going, need to go back home. hmm i need to stone to write. really need my mp3s! shit, i miss blogging at home, i miss my own msn, i miss blasting my mp3 so loud my mother would start yelling non stop. i just miss my computer lah.

hmmm, and of course sara. been thinking how she's doing. should call her later when i get home.hmm ok i'm off to my land. hopefully to stone. should call her first. i miss her.

chow chin chow.

green green green:)
at 8:53 pm

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

soundcheck: Everthing In Its Time -Corrinne May

ok, i'm blogging at the wee hours. don't ask why. it's a good thing that i still get to use the internet here over at my sister's place. coz it's just 5 storeys below my house. ok.. i just felt like blogging coz i can't get to sleep. been restless, thinking about the un-thinkable. i think i messed up. i'm hopeless being in a relationship. failure all along.

sara:
i really do hope that you will read my blog. i really had been an idiot lately. i don't want us to go through all the bad times again and again. although it's normal, i want us to work things out together, no matter how bad the situation really is. this may sound stupid, but i'm not going to lose you. but after that tone and gesture you gave me, i felt like anytime, it's going to be the end. people get angry at each other, it's normal. but i don't want us to drag something so small into something big. we've gone through this several times and we pulled through. now i don't want it to let go just like that. i really love you alot, this idiot really loves you alot. he deserves you.

but sadly, if you think it's the other way round, i seriously am speechless. a big change in me, a big gap left, a sudden breakdown. now i never ever want that to happen. NEVER. not now.

we can pull this through again. we can, we've gone quite a long way. i don't think it's easy to give up now. I Love You and always will. goodnight.

green green green:)
at 11:53 pm

Monday, July 18, 2005

it's the start of a new week. lucky me i wasn't late. i ran for the train like nobody's business. met sara today, been missing her so bad lately. i went to fetch her, well not really fetch her. met her at tampines, went to have our dinner at clementi, near her place. she said she was craving for this roti john down there and it was superb. hahaha. then we went looking around for pet shops coz we planned to buy hamsters, dwarf hamsters. we'll be buying it soon hopefully. speaking about dwarf hamsters, i have a pair at home too. i hope they'll mate! then can see the small babies! wahahahaha!

ok enough about hamsters. hmm i've been missing hockey trainings, i'm still growing fat. and i'm trying my best to cut down on my daily meals! i hope they're all going well. hahhaa. in school, i'm very lonely, sadly because most of my friends are doing their attachment, i guess that was what made me to keep on eating instead of doing something else. most of the times, when i sit alone and happened to stone, i start to think of her and how she's doing in her school. sometimes i feel i've done nothing good to her, but i guess something i worry things too much and it leads to all these. i worry stuffs too much. anyway, she's going to have her exams these few days. i hope she'll do fine. haha won't be meeting her much this week.

ohh, my schooling happy days are soon going to be over. i've been spending in school alone. my classmate, i don't really hang out with them except in class. all my other friends have gone for attachment, every break, i'll stone, sleep, eat, think about her. hmm. i've so much to blog about but my eyes are getting heavy. it must have been the pill i've taken just now. it's really drowsy, feeling very sleepy already. alright, i'm off to go now. i'm going to freak out in my room coz i just watched incredible tales. i'm off to my land now. goodnight singapura.

to sara, i hope she does well in school and all. love her lots.

green green green:)
at 10:04 pm

Saturday, July 16, 2005

soundcheck: Learn To Sing, Sherwood

i've been missing the good old days. actually i was quite caught up with school attachment and such. i've been eating alot. this time not only when i'm happy, but when i'm sad, i eat alot too. damn i'm going to die soon. i've missed trainings coz of the attachment which is sometimes quite tiring. well enough about school. i was quite worried about a new commitment i'm in now. which is being in a relationship. i realised it was harder than i thought. but the key to it is patience, forgive and forget. i wish i could bloggggg all the way till next morning but i'm using my sister's computer and i can't use much, coz i'm feeling tired and i'm working tomorrow. hmm i realised quite a long time, well not only me but my friends too realised that i think too much and i worry for nothing. hmm i have to change all these coz it will affect my future and such. oh well, enough said.

the good point is that i am happy with her. the good point is that i have dvd player in my room to entertain me. the good point is that my discman battery is energizer. never say die. hahahha.

the good point is that i love her. i hope to see her soon. her exams are coming, i hope she'll do well. and as for me, i need to sleep. i am working tomorrow and it will be the last day tomorrow for the baybeats. i hope i can go after work if i'm not tired. i'm trying to stay strong. actually i could feel i'm growing fat. i run like a fat fool.shit, i need gym training, i need hockey training,i need jogging. i need to stop eating!!!

ok i'm off to sleep. good night singapura..

sara, i am too sorry about all these. no matter what, we'll go through our bad times together, promise. i love you. take care of yourself.

green green green:)
at 10:45 pm

Monday, July 11, 2005

i am blogging in the school school library due to my wonderful computer at home is not working. i can't seem to switch on my cpu and i miss my mp3s, miss blogging, miss msn-ing. it seems quite weird blogging now coz i'm surrounded with people. i prefer blogging alone, in my room. listening to stone music and just keep typing i get tired. i have to leave soon though coz i have only 45mins of blogging and i just logged in because school computer sucks. they're all lagging and i have to wait for it to load. damn it. i really miss my computer! i need money to fix it.

speaking about money, i've just lost my nice only green specs. this morning while i had my break, i put it at the table coz i was cleaning the lense and being clever me lah, i had to forget about it and now it's gone. now i'm going to die when i get home, though i've already told my mother about it. this is my second time to lose it. i've lost it once last year. and that specs was damn expensive la. i'm never gonna get a new specs lah. irritating. was quite sad and pissed off with it.

anyway, hopefully i'll move on without it. hmm i actually asked sara to blog for me but she said, it didn't appear. this entry will be out. so to all the frequent reader of my wonderful blog, i'm sorry i won't be blogging often since the computer cannot be switched on for the time being. hahaha.

to her, i'm sorry of all the mistakes i've done so far, i hope i'm forgiven. it seems like i'm not being nice towards her. it seems like everytime i'll just spoil her day somehow. especially when it comes to talking on the phone. i don't want al this to be repeated. neither of us wants that. anyway, i hope she's doing fine in school now. i'll be meeting her later. hmm well i better leave now. i love her alot!

green green green:)
at 12:50 pm