Friday, October 31, 2003
Someday Somehow
This life is so confusing
Feels like I'm always losing
Tired of living like this
Where is the peace?
It's time for something else
It's time to be somewhere else
Hope it won't take long
As long as I won't go wrong
No more sadness for sure
I won't take this anymore
Someday somehow
Someday somehow...
nampaksah i copied from somewhere right? well at least most part of it. unoriginal. hahahha but there. i wrote that at 2am yesterday. nothing better to do....
green green green:)at
11:59 pm
ah finally! i've gotten myself a new Guestbook! cool eh? the old one something wrong.. anw. sorry about the old old messages yall left in the previous Guestbook.. well.. i have a new one now.. so juz keep throwing your shits inside there, which i doubt anyone would bother.. anw.. yup. i'm PROUD of myself for finding a new Guestbook and doing it ALL BY MYSELF. hope it'll be a jolly Friday..... adios. i gotta go for Friday Prayers.... PEACE........................................
green green green:)at
12:08 pm
26 October
26 October,
A date I hope never to remember
Though it seems like yesterday
Thought it could be left far away
Still stuck in this freaking situation
Hope it'll never be brought up in the next generation
I write this hoping someday I could look back and laugh
But time doesn't seem to pass
Here I am, as I write it all
Behind this unbreakable wall
26 October,
A date I hope never to remember
green green green:)at
1:11 am
Sunday, October 26, 2003
another tiring day. went around the whole causeway point. damn tired now. went out with my mother, sis and my nephew. you obviously know what happens when mother meets daughther.. hahaha.. wa lao. shop there shop here... damn. anw. i bought puma shoes. not the My Pumas but it's nicer i guess. old school rabak punya.. hmm tmr fasting already..
Travis - 12 Memories. that album rocks man! aww damn! love it~~~ oh ya.. didnt went back to cine to return the vic's present. good sold are not refundable or exchangeable. darn it. i'm so sorry! anw. sorry wan ting. i got drifted away yesterday...
oh ya. should get my last cd for the moment. In Reverie - Saves The Day. anw. juz came in to drop some stuff.
green green green:)at
7:44 pm
Saturday, October 25, 2003
everything was going fine and dandy. until i came home to find out that vic's present was a screwed. well not really la. the button's spoil. damn pissed off man. very very... argh! i have to make my way back there tmr to see what i can do with it. HOPEFULLY.. i'll get a new one. wait.. i must somehow get a new one. the button just came out on its own. bloody hell la. not only that. i'm feeling guilty now. my sister bought for me a Timberland sling bag! expensive right? ya.. it was. $79.00 for a sling bag. hahaha. i'll shit in my pants. anw.. she as i knew.. she wasn't using her money.. well partly it was my mother's money. now.. i have ALOT of bags. freak right?
anw.. couldn't play CS today. everywhere was fully booked. so me and hanis while derrick and nawfel were looking for some other places to play CS.. hanis and i went to HMV.. our favourite place.. where it all happens~~ ahaha.. anw.. found out some new and old bands. quite nice. hanis bought The Strokes.. i bought Travis. 12-memories. told you i'll get it. hahaha. well.. i'm still freaking pissed with myself.... shall blog in later or some other time.. \m/
green green green:)at
9:59 pm
Thursday, October 23, 2003
back home. after a long day. well for me. morning went for a job interview not mustafa but zoo. didn't got it coz i had to be 16 to work. so a little sad and pissed off. didnt wanna go back so we went town me and nawfel met up with derrick and dzul. as usual, he had to leave half way coz his girlfriend called him over to her house. seriously, dzul spoils it all! anw. wanted to play CS but i had to be 16. so i was pissed off again.. i made them follow me to HMV. got some new songs. TRAVIS! i'm going to buy their album soon!!! travis rocks! 12 memories. i think that's their album title.
so anw.. derrick found some CS lan shop near Plaza Sing.. and we played till 6. wow. but it was fun. i'm all suddenly into CS. why? coz my freaking computer can't even install a single shit! and my discman don't know spoil or something. shit man! but i must get that travis album. sounds nice. oh ya.. the artist in the ambulance sounds nice also.
yesterday, had my hockey trg again. me.. got screwed by danker. damn. it's been a long time since i've touched my hockey stick. well was quite fun playing. next trg will be on the next wednesday. fasting month coming soon. tmr's deepavali. happy deepavali for those who's celebrating.. well i'm off now. damn tired. peace out...
green green green:)at
9:02 pm
Monday, October 20, 2003
tired tired tired.... just came back from nawfel's house. very tiring. played soccer near nantha's house. damn. we lost all the games but won one! whee! shit. i'm having a bad bad headache again. anw.. my comp's gone. it can't even install a game inside. i miss CM4 and NFS2. fuck! so much for after the N levels. and there's no SCV coz my sis doesnt have the cable. so we must pay $120 just to fix that freaking cable to plug in my SCV box. no MTV, no HBO, no star world, no star sports, no ESPN, no super sports, no cartoon network, no nickelodeon. well those are the few channels that i always tunned in. especially, no EPL. and Liverpool? damn. they're soo bad.. what's wrong man? what telah happened? lost to portsmouth. and ex liverpool player scored that goal. berger..
oh ya. should tell about yesterday man. ok. my father was alighting us at my uncle's house coz we went to my late greandmother's cemetery.. so my father alighted us at my uncle's house coz the whole family followed us along. ya. so there's this car behind us, just horned his car coz we were "obstructing" his drive way. ya but he could understand that we're alighting quite a few people inside the car. ya. the car was cramped up with people. anw.. so this fucking driver went out of his car and and thinks that his BMW was too big to squeeze through that bus stop lane. ya.. so my father too went out of his car telling him can't you see about the muslims. he just went on shouting all those vulgarities. i mean did we said something about the chinese that made him unhappy? NO?! we fucking did not do that. so he just went on shouting 'fucking muslims". and me and my sis were like.. damn you racist bastard. go get your car moving and fuck off from our side. ya. he didn't want the fight to stop. by that time. my father was rushing for work already. so he drove off first. my and me sis. were damn pissed. ya.. i mean you could scold all the fucking words out of you. as long you don't mention anything about the muslims or the malays. so we just walked away from his fucking face and ya though he kept shouting all those nonsense.. anw. my father reported to police already. took his licensed plate also. so watch out you motherfucker!
anw. enough.. argh my headache is getting worse. shall log off soon. oh damn. oh damn. what am i going to do? i feel like starting to work coz is so bored at home. ya. my bro-in-law found a job for me. nawfel and kumaresan coming along to work with me. cool! i'm happy.. at least i'm not alone. can't wait can't wait. anw. i better go take panadol now. feel like throwng up any time. oh ya. hell! my guestbook something wrong. it seems to be showing only the first page. argh. i'll see what i can do later. peace out........
green green green:)at
8:26 pm
Saturday, October 18, 2003
ok... i'm back again. i don't who to share this to.. so it's here. suddenly i'm having this feeling again. i feel so left out. yes.. very. why why why? maybe most people are going somewhere and i'm going nowhere? oh shit! my sis is back shall blog some other time. life is really going nowhere. seriously. for me..........
green green green:)at
11:35 pm
What a terrible saturday it was. life ain't going nowhere i guess. well that is life right? well. hmm what happened today? i went out with derrick and dzul. nah dzul went off half way.. meet his girlfriend. anw.. ya.. so me and derrick were like walking from one end to another. searching for sling bags. well i've finally found it. it's at Cineleisure. why am i searching sling bags for? well it's a birthday present for vic. and i feel like getting one too. we went far east, cine, Taka, Forum. wow! haha.. wanted to play CS though but all the LAN shops were totally booked. especially cine. so we just walked around till 6 then head back home.
hmm. why did i went cine of all the places? serious. i hate going there. i never like that place. well i still go there. why? i have no idea either. so, i offered the job to derrick to see if he wants to come for the interview on monday. what job was it? that Mustafa salesman thingy. well. i suddenly got this urge of wanting to work. why? coz i hate doing nothing at home, especially when there's no games to play or something else la. well i want to work also because i just can't depend on my parents to support me. come on.. i mean i'm going to be 16 man. go and find a job la. at least work for 1 month. then u can go back to studies and stuff. need that experience. i'll see how la.
hmm. i'm not sure when i'll be back in cine to buy that bag. ahh heck la. it's holiday for me now. for those who's taking their Os. all z best...! oh yes. CDs to buy soon! if i have the money... Sheila On 7, Saves The Day -In reverie, Limp Bizkit - Results May Very, Travis, Green Day - Insomniac - Kerplunk, Force Vomit, Alien Ant Farm -Truant, Radiohead and some others. anw. i was joting my my writings don't really sounds nice. but i hope u know what's the situation. well i better get off soon or else i'll get screwed by my sis. she's eeeeeeeeviiiiilllllllll. haha. i don't know. but anw. here it is...
Drift Away
I watch the blinking lights
Across the sea tonight
I sit here under this moonlit sky
Here, I asked myself, am I meant to die?
I ran out, as I didn't want to be at home
I just felt like being alone
Enjoying this sea breeze feeling
Right until the very next morning
Here, no one can ever find me
No one can ever see me
I lay back as the current drifts me away
Far away, hoping never to be back here again
green green green:)at
11:07 pm
Friday, October 17, 2003
i was reading other blogs.. damn. all of them so powderful in their english. they put all those bombastic words inside. me? i use don't know what english. as long can read should be enough already. oh well. went mosque with nawfel just now. came very late. luckily manage to pray. anw.. well walking back to his house. he was talking about working in Mustafa... well there's the night shift and the afternoon shift. the pay $1020. very tempting ah? i'm not sure if i want to work.
was a bad bad bad day today. first, i'm having this flu.. none stop. my nose was blocked totally. i couldnt breathe. at least it's better now. second, i got screwed from my religious class teacher for not attending his class for like 3 weeks. and i did so poor in my Quran reading. i was really screwed(what a disgrace). johan, you're so slow in everything. studies, hockey.. what else. there's few more. i can't recall. heck.
damn. i'm so useless right? i'm back to my negative side of me... fuck.. piece of thrash. darn it. anw.. hockey trg resumes on the 22nd of oct. cool eh. back to fitness. yes. i've been eating alot these few days. i'm growing sideways. damn. know what? my computer can't install a single game. not even CM4! freaking hell! what's wrong with the bloody comp????????????????????? ahhhhh! now i can't even play a single game. no more CM4, no more NFS2. so much for after the N levels. fuck fuck fuck! this is NOT happening right?
there's no SCV, no MTV that means. no more music. ahhh.. i'm screwed. totally... well. that's all la. freaking life ain't going nowhere.
green green green:)at
11:28 pm
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
I tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter
Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart
I'm so in love with you
I'll be forever blue
That you give me no reason, you know you're making me work so hard
That you give me no . . . Soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me.
yup that's the song from Wheatus - A Little Respect. anw. 3rd day living in my sister's house. my clothes are still left at my aunt's house coz the mover accidentally sent it there. well, my parents are driving there to get most of the stuff back here. in this room. full of boxes. with my beloved computer. full of wonderful things inside. music, writings.. there.. see no more called poems. and games! but my CM4 not woking. damn it.
oh well.. wanted to go out and play soccer with my friends as we all know we've finished our exams. we're just waiting for results. ya as i was saying wanted to play but i've forgotten that my clothing were left behind. so stayed at home. sleep. a good one! and surfing for latest stuff. oh ya. my previous entry. read the writings? i don't know i kept writing about some lovey dovey stuff. oh well. hope it's nice.
oh ya. read the straits times. i don't when was it. about the SAS student got beaten up. ya. make St Andrew's name so low. stupid fool. and they're suspecting is the N level students. fuckers. anw. that was an old news la. just though of putting it up to show how nice SAS students are. how well-behaved they all are. well for me. i'm going to be out of the school real soon! the chairman badge. muahahaha! i earned it. since last year. yup. i'm showing off already right? shan't go any further. i hate people showing off. like me.
can't wait to go for trg! though fasting month is coming soon. hmm.. feel like looking for jobs. but see how la. anw. i gotta go. shall throw my shitty stuff later. peace......
green green green:)at
9:46 pm
December 2003
I looked up upon the night sky
Watched the clouds slowly passing by
It covered the moonlight
Which was shining bright
The comfort that is on my mind
Hoping to be with you all the time
Let us make a history
On this night of December 2003
As I blow my candle lights
I wish that you'd be here tonight
To spend my birthday with you
Just like a dream come true
If Only
A cold and lonely night
I just wish you were by my side
Stuck alone at home with nothing to do
Only wish to spend this night with you
We're living in a world far apart
But you'll be here by my side, no matter what
Lying on my bed as I held my pillow tight
Hope you'll have a wonderful night
green green green:)at
11:34 am
Monday, October 13, 2003
Dear johan,
well, yesterday just moved over to my sister's place. very tiring. VERY! anw. i tried using my computer to log onto the internet after shifting everything, but the phone line wasn't working. it kept showing that the line was busy. hmm wonder why. well i'm using nawfel's computer. and him? haha. he's gone to play CS with kumaresan and derrick. ya. i can't come along coz that lady said i wasn't 16 yet! how pathetic. i feel so useless now. like everytime i follow my friends around. there'll be a time when i have to take out my EZ-Link card just to show them i wasn't 16 yet. fuck! oh well. actually derrick wanted to watch Underworld. but as we all know it's NC-16. fuck again! so that's why. anw. they're having fun. and i'm here alone updating my blog.
there's so many things to type, like new music, N levels, new bands and others. oh ya. i'm addicted with the new Simple Plan song - Perfect. Nice song. love it. oh ya. hanis gave me his Radiohead CD. well not give la but i borrowed from him. they're nice. i like 2+2=5, Go To Sleep and the last song. not sure what was it. oh ya! travis is back! their new song rock!
hmm i bought The Ataris CD few weeks ago and finally bought hanis his belated birthday present. ahmad, johan and i spent it on one nike cap. how pathetic again. oh well hope he's happy for it.
oh ya. i took my music exam and i failed. hai. that was the 3rd time i failed my last grade. i'm so not gifted in music. i guess. haha. oh well. my father asked me to stop music lesson and take Silat course. well it's fun but i'm very scared to go alone. so embarrassing. it's people usually starts when they're in primary school and me. i'm in sec 4.. soon i'll finish my secondary life. well. i'll just look forward to it. it's holiday for me now. no more school. actually there is la. but why bother coming to school. my Ns are over. only waiting for results. hoping to get good grades! yes. AIRCRAFT ENGINEER. my course. there are few other courses that i'd like to take la. but i'll take that as my 1st choice.
hmm tmr's the 14th. vic's birthday. haha. happy birthday! haha damn i havent bought a present yet. i guess it shall be another belated birthday present. hmmm nothing else to type about. anw. this is not my comp. i can't use for long. i shall play cm4. muahahahaha! oh ya. i wrote few poems! but i cant update it coz i don't have it with me. anw. adios.
Signing Off,
Johan
green green green:)at
5:39 pm
